Parking

This morning after having breakfast with a friend I stopped by the bank to wothdraw some money. As I was just about to swing into the parking lot, a big red car suddenly swerved before me and took the exact parking space that I was aiming. I honked at the driver. Dia buat-buat tak dengar. I gave ''the stare''. Dia buat-buat tak nampak.

I honked and stared again. This time a little bit longer. Lama-kelamaan mahu tak mahu dia terpaksa juga memandang ke arah saya. Lagipun semua orang di dalam bank pun sudah mula menunjukkan minat terhadap kejadian pseudo road rage yang sedang berlaku di hadapan mereka.

I parked my car at the small road beside the bank and walked quickly to enter, wanting to get the business done with as fast as possible before the solat jumaat crowd start to fill up the roads. Tetapi rupa-rupanya jejaka berkereta merah itu menunggu saya dan sesampainya saya di bank tersebut dia terus keluar dan mula menjerit-jerit. Well, menjerit-jerit is not the correct word I'd use to describe his kelakuan actually. The proper word would be ''membebel''.

When he came out of his car I had to bite the insides of my lips so hard to stop myself from laughing out loud. Kereta besar dan cantik. Warna merah. Tapi mamat yang keluar tu a) kecik b) pendek c) pakai kasut macam kasut platform untuk menambahkan beberapa inci kepada ketinggiannya apakebenda orang panggil kasut jenis tu tapi yang itu lah.

And then the verbal diarrhea started.

''Awak kenapa tiba-tiba nak hon kat saya? bla bla bla tak nampak ke? bla bla bla ingat awak bagus ke? bla bla bla saya kenal ramai orang bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla orang pompuan macam ni la bla bla bla bla eleh macam la best sangat bla bla bla tinggi semacam bla bla bla ingat aku takut dengan pompuan tinggi bla bla bla...''

Eh? Aku tinggi pun jadi isu dalam hal ini?

Brader, is it my fault that you have not exceeded your genetic potential like I have? Adakah saya yang harus dipersalahkan bila anda berdiri di sebelah saya bahu anda hanya setakat mencecah pinggang saya? And if I were to be your spouse, I'd buy one whole box of those spectacles, you know the ones that have eyes painted on the two lenses. Agak-agak rasa sesi membebel nak mula je, maka teruslah capai spek mata tersebut dan buat-buat akur mendengar. Padahal tidur. Amacam OK?

Gerun jugak saya nak membebel-bebel tak tentu pasal macam tu. Takut bila tua esok jadi nyanyuk big time.

Kereta Katak

Last night I went for a seafood dinner with a few friends. On the way to Kayu Ara, we stopped at a traffic light, behind a VW Beetle. When the traffic light turned green, we drove off as usual. Then my friend's dad looked at the VW Beetle in front of us and said, "Wah! That car reversing is it?"

Heheh. Cute eh? A car that looks the same depan belakang. Like the Audi TT. Jalan ke depan pun macam gostan.

Apa nak buat lagi makan je lah

These are some of the dishes I sampled while on a short weekend holiday with besties to Penang to visit another girlfriend.

So basically it was like this: if we weren't eating we we either in front of the telly doing absolutely nothing or driving around the island cursing at almost every single Penang driver. I swear to God their road courtesy factor is -54.

And now I have to start on my ''I have to lose 5 kg by 31/1/11'' plan with the same makan-makan friends to get prepared for the next culinary treats and delights during our next jalan-jalan trip.

But needless to say with all that face-stuffing during the road trip I am feeling a little bit fat. I may have put on a few kilos. In fact, if I bend down, my big butt could probably be seen from the moon.