Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Diary dialogues


My niece has a very active mind. She easily gets transported into some faraway land in a blink of an eye. Sometimes a ball pen can be a handsome prince trying to save the sharpener princess from the clutches of ze evil ruler monster. Sometimes a paper alien conducts English class to a group of safari animals. Sometimes my handphone delivers a thank you speech to my two cats.

Yesterday she was looking at a MARA yearly planner (I think; I was beside her playing Word Scramble) and as she was turning the pages, she created conversations between all the photos of politicians and public figures who were honored from January to December. 

"Assalamualaikum Datuk. Jangan lupa petang ni Datuk ada appointment dengan Datuk Onn Jaafar. Lepas tu Datuk ada dinner dengan Tan Sri Ghaffar Baba. Siapa? OH...saya tak pasti la Datuk...Tan Sri Ghaffar dari company mana tapiiii...yang saya pasti dia bukan tukang gunting rambut. Get it? Barber? Baba? Hahahaha. Oh okay I'm sorry if you didn't find it funny Datuk. Alaaa kita ni kannnn *sengau* hidup mesti la suka-suka...gembira...hepi-hepi leww *double sengau* bla bla bla"

Nampak tak pengaruh drama bersiri dalam dialog di atas?
Dengan sedikit unsur lawak budak darjah enam.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Di kafe Wak Dol


This afternoon for lunch I made sure I took only half a fist of rice. Since I plan on also eating some more rice tonight. Kan semua health guru cakap setiap hari kita boleh makan sengenggam nasi putih sahaja for lunch. Dan segenggam nasi lemak for breakfast. Dan segenggam lagi nasi beriyani for dinner.

OK joke joke.

Well anyway at the cashier the adik yang tengok lauk saya cakap yang saya makan sikit sangat. Saya cakap yang saya nak kurangkan berat badan.

Dia jawab buat apa. Kat kampung dia di mana entah di Indonesia agaknya kalau orang perempuan kurus sangat tak laku. Tak ada orang nak masuk meminang.

Jadi saya pun cakap kat dia oleh yang demikian berdasarkan penaakulan mantik kalau saya pergi ke kampung dia senang la saya cari jodoh.

Dia kata tidak barangkali.

"Sebab Akak tinggi sangat."

OK. Fine.

I might need to go to Finland then. Or Iceland.

Tapi masalahnya kat sana tak ada kicap Habhal. How?