Nuffnang

A few nights ago a friend of mine suggested that I include the nuffnang click button icon in my blog and hopefully make some money out of it. To be honest I don't really know how it works. But I just had it done anyway. My brother said that if someone clicks on it to see the advertisement, a certain amount of money will go into my account. I am guessing a few cents.

So I was like wondering if I kept clicking on the nuffnang button repeatedly all day long I'd become extremely rich very fast and not have to join the login-FB-and-get-RM100 bandwagon. And can finally quit my job, buy a nice house, have a gorgeous kitchen with a 12 foot long kitchen island (what the hell?) and do nothing except eat and be merry. And from time to time spend my vacation at my villa in Monaco, sipping Perrier by my infinity pool and watch my neighbour Kimi Raikkonen clean his (he finds pool cleaning relaxing for the soul and therapeutic; it keeps his mind focused for his next race).

Then my brother told me that they check the IP address of each ''clicker''. So only the first click counts. Or so I think.

OWHHH. Takde la kaya cepat ek?

If this was the road runner show, the broken edge of the cliff would have landed on Wiley E. Coyote's head right now. And ruin all his plans.

Tapi kalau saya tunggu lama-lama sikit dan suruh semua orang yang saya kenal klik butang nuffnang di blog saya ni lama-lama dapat tak saya beli Mini Cooper yang saya idam-idamkan selama ini?

Owh okay. An Iphone 4 maybe? Would that be a more achievable target?

Errr...itu pun tak pasti? Then what about a trip to the islands? They say the sands on the beaches of some little islands off Langkawi are so fine and white it's like walking on flour.

Apa? Jangan harap sangat? Isyyy...when you start having monologues with Negativity, you'll never get anywhere.

Belum cuba belum tahu. Masa pakcik Moh Far Kor letak muka dia on his first packet of asam limau keping more than 30 years ago, did he know that his product would still be around in 2010? Remember those days when people would scare you from eating it and call the asam taik hidung Cina? It still sticks in my mind until now.

Oh well anyway back to my Nuffnang deal. Let's be more optimistic. A trip to the Bahamas guys. That's what I'm aiming for. I'll start prepping myself up for it with a short weekend trip to PD in November. You know, just to get a feel of the breeze and salt water.

Lawatan ke kilang Denso

Yesterday I had an appointment to visit an MFI student who was doing her industrial training in Denso at 10am. By 9.30 I had already driven into the factory compound and parked near the security booth to register myself. Sambil merasa kagum dengan diri sendiri kerana sampai begitu awal sekali.

At the pondok pak guard I told the man that I was there to see my student and gave him her name. He called in to check dan beberapa saat kemudian muka dia berkerut. Then he asked me if I knew anyone working there in the factory. So I gave him the name of the HR person. Lagi dia buat muka pelik. I started to feel annoyed. Kenapa pakcik ni semua orang dia tak kenal. Cubalah update sikit senarai staf beserta nombor extension tu boleh tak? Daripada duduk-duduk melenggang perut tak buat apa-apa.

And then he looked at me again and asked me one more time, "Akak sebenarnya nak jumpa siapa?"

Dan saya terpaksa menjawab sekali lagi, "Saya ni datang nak melawat pelajar MFI yang buat latihan industri kat kilang Denso ni."

Kemudian terdengar suara seorang pekerja kilang tersebut yang lalu di belakang saya berkata, "Kak Long ni kilang Sony."

Oh. Kilang Denso terletak bersebelahan rupanya.

Lawatan ke kilang Hitachi

Last Friday I went to Hitachi Electronics here in Bangi for the first time. I had to go there to visit a student who's currently doing his industrial training in that company. At the security booth, I had to register myself and surrender my driving license. I was given a vendor pass and showed the way to the visitor parking. Then I had to use the supplier entrance, which is rupa-rupanya not the proper main entrance. Since I had the vendor tag on me, that's the entrance that I had to take. They didn't have any Cikgu Bahasa Perancis yang menyamar sebagai vendor entrance.

As I entered, I was surprised to see so many people coming and going into the three corridors that divided the ground floor. Ramai sangat gadis-gadis muda. And they all looked at me and smiled. Then I realized something.

They were all five feet tall or less.

Do you all realize how tiny all these foreign female workers are? I was literally swarmed by them. Imagine a birthday cake with one tall candle sticking out of it. That was how I felt. I was lost in a sea of Indonesian midgets.

And to put the cherry on the top of the proverbial cake, upon leaving, when the security guard handed me back my driving license, he actually gave me a pantun dua kerat.

"Terima kasih daun keladi
Kalau senang datang lagi"

Part of their KPI perhaps? I'm impressed. And highly amused. :-)

How do you mend a broken heart?

I am now experiencing severe withdrawal of the chemicals dopamine and oxytocin, short circuiting my brains, resulting in high amounts of cortisol in my body. I am running low on happy hormones. My trust hormone is at sub-zero level. As such, I am constantly feeling fatigued and sleepy. I am guessing this is my body's defense mechanism against heartbreak. Maybe if I went to sleep, all my worry will go away.

Alas that is never the case. I wake up at odd hours during the night, always feeling a tightness in my chest. Sometimes it is hard for me to breathe. I just want to lie in bed all day. And sleep. But I can't. My evil buddy insomnia is throwing my sleep cycle off.

And my tear ducts work overtime.

But I am patiently waiting for this depressing cycle to end. And bounce back to my normal self. I am very fortunate to be surrounded by friends and family who are understanding enough to let me be without asking too many questions, offer advice when needed, and be there for me. It's heartwarming to know that there are still some people who love you.

The trick is to stay occupied. And always have faith in the Almighty that when something happens, it is always for a reason. He knows what's best for you. Right now I might just feel like kicking his ass for giving up so easily, but I'm sure in the long run, in perspective, I might just begin to fathom the scheme of things. How maybe I was not meant to be in this kind of life. Or simply that if a person ditches you at the slightest obstacle and not want to find other means and ways, well then maybe he was just not so into you after all.

Do I have the face that says ''The fun starts here. Please wash hands after use. Thank you and have a nice day''?

Do I not deserve some love and happiness as well? And some degree of respect?

Freud has long suggested writing about any deep traumatizing episode you might have experienced for the cathartic effect. Ceh gila bombastic punya ayat padahal it just means writing crap about some shitty thing to let off some steam. So here I am trying to let go of some of my ''deep negative emotions that I might ignore or repress'' through expressive writing. Bluek.

Well for whatever that has happened, when all else fails, I still have my faith, my family, my friends, my cats and my wacky sense of humor.

And to the person responsible for all this extreme sadness and unhappiness, would it be possible for me to claim damages? If you think a broken heart is just some foolish romantic notion, well think again. I have to live with all this physical pains and aches in my body and it is taking a toll on my health and sanity. Kalau kita demam, kita boleh pergi klinik dan minta panadol (kalau tak nak bayar kena cari klinik panel), tapi kalau kita patah hati, ada tak hospital yang buat injection anti-kecewa?

I know you are reading this. Yes. You. So tell me, where is the nearest hospital I can go to check myself in and ask for dopamin and oxytocin I.Vs? That would help clear this blur in my head. And ease the pain a little.

But so would an unlimited spending budget.

Bantal

Today my dad was transferred to the normal ward from the CICU. The nurses have taken off the catheter and most of the IVs and he has less wires stuck to his chest. But as any other patient who has undergone a heart op, he has his little pillow that he holds close to his chest to make it less painful for him whenever he coughs to get the phlegm out.

During the elevator ride up to the normal surgery ward, my little niece looked at him and remarked, ''Eh eh Tok Ayah pun dah ada bantal busuk macam Aina.''

My dad in CICU

Last Thursday my dad went for an open heart surgery to repair a 1cm leak around his artificial mechanical valve. Syukur Alhamdulillah he made it through the 5 hour operation although he is still at present in the CICU until Monday. Every day we will go and visit him, or rather just wait by his bed and let him sleep. Tak sampai hati nak berborak panjang because he is still so tired from the whole ordeal and needs as much rest as possible to recuperate.

Yesterday during visiting hours when it was my turn to go see him (for the CICU patients they are only allowed one visitor per visit) I just let him rest and did nothing except hang around his bed looking at the beeping monitors and all the green and yellow lines. Macam lah faham kan what all the readings meant. Tapi buat-buat tengok je la. My dad had all the different colored wires stuck to him. One for his heart beat, one for his arterial pressure, another for something else. And at least three IVs as well. So it was best not to wake him up because he will then want to move about to find a more comfortable position. Try lying immobile on a bed for at least one day and you will see how hurtful your bum can be.

When he finally opened his eyes and saw me, he asked if I had been waiting there long. And asked how I was. I told him gently to just carry on sleeping and not mind me. He nodded.

Then he opened his eyes again and beckoned me near. He loosened his oxygen mouth cover and said something intelligible. I bent nearer. Bapak aku ni nak cakap benda apa yang penting sangat ni?

He said again, "Ambik la gambar Papa dalam CICU ni. Tapi Papa tak sempat sikat rambut.''

But the nurses wouldn't allow it. They were afraid the photos might be posted on FB.

Leceh betul lah misi-misi zaman sekarang ni. Semuanya celik IT.

Which floor are you going to?

My dad has been warded in HUKM since last Friday. He is going for a surgery this Thursday so the doctors are now preparing him for it and at the same time still trying to assess if he is fit enough to undergo the two surgeries that he needs to go through: the lung and heart surgery. So everyday I will go visit him during lunch break and after work.

Yesterday as usual after work I headed straight to HUKM. By the time I reached the hospital it was nearly 6pm so it was quite easy for me to look for a parking space. And lagipun tengah hujan lebat so kalau masa-masa hujan lebat ni orangramai tak berapa nak melawat hospital kot. I was even alone at the elevators.

I got into one and pressed the button to go to the 5th floor, where my dad is, in the surgery ward. But the thing is, the lift stopped at every floor and at each time it stopped, the lift doors would open and close and go up. By itself. And every time there would be no one outside who wanted to get into the lift.

So by the time I reached my floor and got out, I wondered how crowded that lift really was with "people". Brrrrr.