Kejadian di Santai Suri

A couple of days ago I went to Santai Suri to meet up with my BFFs. When I reached the spa, one of them was out for errands. So I hoohaa-ed with those who were at the reception area for a bit.

A few minutes later my friend arrived. She was surprised to see me dan kami pun berpeluk-cium to say hello. Al-maklumlah dah lama tak berjumpa. She excused herself to the back for a while and I continued chatting with the rest.

Then I looked back at the counter and saw her standing there. Wah, dah makin slim si Rina ni, kataku di dalam hati. Nampaknya segala usaha mengikuti kelas body combat amat membuahkan hasil.

So I crept slowly from behind and surprised her by holding her by the waist and saying, "Oi Mek dah kurus la ko! Caya la!"

She turned slowly to me and said slowly, "Siapa yg kurus kak?"

Alamak. Bukan Rina. Tetapi salah seorang dari pelanggan urut yang mahu membayar di kaunter.

Memang saya mati kutu masa tu. Saya dah habis auta dah tak tahu macamana nak cover line lagi dah.

So I just smiled sheepishly. For once, I was stumped for words.

Orang utan

Last night I uploaded a photo of a person wearing a pink orang utan tshirt on my facebook wall. I thought it was a cute and adorable t-shirt. Pink pulak tu. Jadi kemolaran comelnya bertambah tiga kali ganda.

Before going to bed I zapped the Astro channels and noticed that almost all the programs were about murder and fantasy horror. So I switched off the telly and went to bed.

Then in my sleep I dreamed that I was attacked by a big hairy monster resembling a giant orang utan. And it was pink. Kinda like Sully in Monster Inc. Seekor orang utan berbulu pink. Chasing after me with hatred in his eyes and vengeance in his heart.

Suddenly it didn't seem so cute anymore.

Perbualan tatkala sedang makan chicken popcorn

This morning during breakfast I chatted a bit with my 8-year-old niece. She talked about her school and her plans for the weekend. Then she looked at me and told me proudly that she can speak two languages very fluently: Malay and English.

-But I want to be like you Mak Long! You can speak three languages!

I looked at her and geleng-geleng kepala.

-No? Not three? How many languages do you speak then Mak Long?
-Six.
-Wow? Six? What languages?
-Well, Malay, English, French, Bahasa Malaysia, Bahasa Inggeris and Bahasa Perancis.
-Oooohhhh...

Then as she was eating her chicken popcorn I heard her muttering under her breath, "Nanti Aina pun nak jadi macam Mak Long lah."

I asked her:

-Nak jadi macam Mak Long boleh cakap enam bahasa ke Na?
-Tak. Nak jadi macam Mak Long suka loyar buruk.

Breakfast

This morning I stopped by a petrol station beside the used-to-be Mint Hotel to buy some breakfast. But they ran out of hot coffee and the cashier told me that I could get some at McDonalds next door.

"Terus boleh masuk ikut pintu belakang kakak takde keluar-keluar." (read: the two buildings were adjoining to each other)

So I went there and ordered my breakfast and coffee to go. When I got everything I asked the adik at the counter where to get the sugar sachets.

"Ohhh gula boleh beli kat sebelah kak.", while pointing towards the petrol station convenience store.

Then the supervisor came and elbowed him from behind and told him, "Layan customer elok-elok la."

Then the boy looked at me and said, "Heheheh...ala madame saje je nak ngenakan madame. Tu ha tepi counter ni nanti saya ambikkan ekk."

Cis. Budak MFI rupanya. Tapi siapa ye? Hmmm.

New words

My 8 year old niece likes to talk. She is the motormouth in the family. She can just yak and yak and yak. She is in love with the sound of her voice. She will talk, yell, sing and act out little stories and mini dramas either alone or with the help of her little toy friends. And when she 's in her own fantasy world, she will cook up all sorts of funny words that she sometimes uses on me.

Like for example:
When she's playing Flick Fishing on my iPhone, she would say, "Don't worry Mak Long, I will try and get you a nice badoody fish!"

I am guessing a badoody fish is a big deep sea fish that she can catch while playing Flick Fishing that can give me lots of money and score me many points and make me rich fast.

So since her Mak Long selalu bercita-cita nak kahwin lelaki kaya, can she say that she wants to marry a badoody guy?

Here's another one:
Sometimes she would talk about her future big girl plans.
"Mak Long when I grow up I want to be a teacher like you. You know everything. You're so ultrananic!"

Hmmm...I can't really put my finger on the meaning of this new word. Ultrananic? What? Highly intelligent? Smart Alec? Loyar buruk?

Or Super Nenek?

Cerita sms.

This morning I sms-ed a friend.

-Assalamualaikum.

My friend replied:
-Siapa ni ek?

I sms-ed again:
-Weh tak kena ke? Aku la Yati.

-Owh. Aku ingat mamat Jepun mana tadi.

Then I checked again the first sms that I sent him. Instead of "Assalamualaikum", it came out "Addams Yamamoto".

Damn this spelling auto-correction. Sometimes it just gives you more hassle. :-)

Blur

A few days ago I went to Alamanda to do some errands. So many things to do, so little time, on an empty stomach. And it didn't help matters that the chicken rice shop I went to for my meal served everything with a super extra dose of MSG. Terus sakit kepala.

Well anyway after my early dinner I went straight to the nearest ATM to withdraw money. I was queuing behind a young man who seemed to have trouble with his card. He was an average sized young man, quite muscular, with neatly combed black hair. Bila tengok dia rasa sejuk hati. Pakai baju pun tuck in.

And I honestly didn't know why but out of the haziness of my MSG induced headache I walked behind him, peered over his head (aku kan tinggi) and just stared at the ATM screen.

And I think he could feel someone breathing down his neck and looked back.

"Oh mak engkau tinggi nya ya Allah terkejut aku bila masa akak diri kat belakang saya akak oiiii....!!"

Alamak. Dari jauh macam lelaki GQ tapi bila terkejut melatah pulak. Dan bersuara popon.