Animal Planet CD

My niece is playing with the Animal Planet CD yang dapat free dalam kotak Koko Krunch on my laptop. And talking to herself.

-Wow! I got the answers right Mak Long. I'm a super genius. I can be a psychopedia.
-Bukan psychopedia Aina. Encyclopedia.
-Oh yes yes yes. Cocopedia.

Mungkin sebab makan Koko Krunch? Pandai macam cocopedia?

NB: By the way the Animal Planet CD is super fun and very educative. There are 3 to collect. We just have one. Two more to go. But we might just OD on KK after that.

Grocery shopping

A couple of days ago I went to a hypermarket for some grocery shopping. I had two lists: one from my mom and another one that is reimbursable so I needed two separate bills. So at the checkout counter I put the things that I could claim for payment first since ada 3-4 barang jer. And I told the cashier that I wanted to pay twice.

"Adik akak bayar barang-barang ni asing. Yang sikit dulu lepas tu baru yang banyak kat belakang tu."

The adik nodded.

"Adik akak nak dua resit ye."

The adik nodded again. And maybe rolled his eyes a bit.

So after scanning the prices for the 3-4 stuffs from the second list, the adik put them all in a plastic bag. I paid him, put the plastic bag into my trolley and started to walk away.

Then I heard the adik shouting:"Akak! Ni barang yang banyak-banyak ni siapa nak bayor?"I had totally forgotten about the things from my mom's grocery list.

Gula, krimer, glo, softlan, roti, telur, minyak, kitchen roll, sosej, nugget, burger, susu, oats semuanya melambak di sebelah adik cashier yang kebingungan.

And as he was scanning the prices, he said, "Sebelum ni kan kak, ada orang pernah lupa henbeg, lupa bawak duit, lupa ambik balik kad kredit. Tapi akak sorang je boleh lupa nak bayar barang."

Oh well.

Girls' day out

Today is girls' day out with my niece. So we went to One Utama for some arts and craft. Even at 11.30am, the basement parking was already quite full. As I was driving around looking for a parking space, I made a remark about this. She replied: "In Aina's world Mak Long there's no problem about parking. All the cars can fly. You should live in my world." Hmm. Maybe I should ask her about the air traffic congestion over at her side. Nak kena bayar tol kat mana? Road tax reduced by how many percent? But that would all have to wait. Because right now little missy's busy doing her angry bird notice board at Get Crafty.

Ouch.

Just now I went grocery shopping with my niece. In the hypermarket, she was busy helping me find everything I had in my list.

At one time, she wanted to hold my arm to get my attention. But immediately pulled her hand back.

-Ouch! That hurts! Ada rasa macam cucuk-cucuk.
-Owhh. Itu elektrik statik Aina. Kalau Aina pegang troli ni pun Aina boleh rasa cucuk-cucuk tu.
-Eeeee tak nak peganglah! Nanti sakit macam masa pegang lengan Mak Long tadi.

I was about to explain to her about static electricity when she shouted her bright idea out loud for everyone to hear (anyone within a radius of 10 metres would get the message loud and clear):

-Aaaaaahhh! Saya tau kenapa sakit tadi bila nak pegang lengan Mak Long. Ini mesti sebab bulu Mak Long tajam!

I swear to God I heard people snickering all around me.

The world is round

-Mak Long, what do you think we can find on the other side of the world?
-Another country.
-Are you sure? Because it sure seems so far. How can we know?
-Maybe we should ask someone then.
-Yes. We should ask a scientist. An earth scientist. Mana nak cari earth scientist Mak Long?
-At the Pusat Sains Negara?
-Oh goody. We can call them up!
-Aina why don't we just buy a globe and see what they have on the other side of this planet?
-Oh. Boleh ye Mak Long?
-Boleh.
-Jadi tak payah cari earth scientist?
-Nope.
-Sebab susah nak cari ke Mak Long?
-Yes.
-Owh. Ok. Then maybe we can find earth scientists on the other side of the world. *snicker*

Advice from the young at heart

The other day I was chatting with my niece in the car on the way to Pusat Sains Negara (during one of our girl-bonding trips). We talked about everyday life and TV and movies and boys.

She asked me:
-Mak Long do you have a boyfriend?

I answered with another question:
-Why do you ask?

She replied:
-Oh, just asking. Tapi kan Mak Long, kita kena berhati-hati. Kadang-kadang orang lelaki ni nak berkawan dengan kita bukan sebab dia betul-betul ikhlas dengan kita. Kadang-kadang dia nak kawan dengan kita sebab dia nak main-mainkan kita. Susah tau Mak Long nak cari lelaki yang baik hati ni.

What? This kind of advice coming from an 8 year old?

So I asked her:
-Aina has someone been talking to you about this at school?

-Tak de lah. Tengok drama dengan Atuk. Cinta Elysa.

And Mak Long had to google it to know more because Mak Long is the biggest kayu besar when it comes to drama bersiri tempatan. Mahupun sinetron.

Detox

For the past three weeks I have been experiencing major acne break-outs and this has led to enduring tasteless jokes like "Ini jerawat gatal nak kawin ni" or "Meh aku tolong ubatkan" which in turn has stressed me up even more, resulting in more acne.

Then it dawned upon me that well, maybe a two-week detox programme might not be a bad idea after all since some skin problems are sometimes symptomatic of bad indigestion or over build-up of toxins in your body. Clean colons, clean organs, clean skin, clean well-being. So I tried googling to find out more and discovered some pretty interesting facts about detoxifying your body. Like, for example, a good detox not only cleanses the colon and removes toxins and chemicals from the vital organs, it also helps eliminate candida yeast naturally, balances the ph in your body AND re-introduce good flora back into your intestinal track. AHAH! I bet you didn't know that part, did you? Been feeling bloated and constipated lately? It's those damn evil flora in your tummy. Berjimba mereka beramai-ramai.

And I also googled to find out what I should avoid eating while on this regime. Here is the list of what to exclude from your detox diet:

Dairy Products and Eggs

Eggs and all dairy products are avoided, including:

• milk
• cheese
• cottage cheese
• sour cream
• yogurt and kefir
• butter
• ice cream and frozen yogurt

Wheat

Wheat and products containing wheat, such as pasta and bread.

Sweeteners

• refined sugar
• any white sugar
• any brown sugar
• high-fructose corn syrup
• evaporated cane juice
• artificial sweeteners

Gluten

All gluten-containing grains, including wheat, barley, rye, spelt, triticale, kamut, couscous, bran, and farina

Soy

• tofu
• soy milk
• soy yogurt
• soy sauce
• soy protein powder
• tempeh

Coffee and Caffeinated Beverages

• Coffee
• Tea
• Soft drinks

Animal Products

• beef
• pork
• veal
• sausages and hot dogs
• deli meats and cold cuts
• shellfish

Condiments

• ketchup
• relish
• soy sauce
• teriyaki sauce
• non-dairy creamers
• barbeque or steak sauce
• salad dressings not made with allowed ingredients
• mayonnaise
• spreads not made with the allowed ingredients
• similar condiments

Other Foods to Avoid

• yeast
• alcohol
• food additives and preservatives
• high-fat foods
• corn
• shortening
• margarine
• canned coconut milk

So, in short, for two weeks, I shall be surviving on breathing air and togok air suam. To my close friends and family, do sms or check in on me from time to time. I'm sure you'd find me easily, hanging on to some piece of furniture like a wasteful gelatinous sea creature, waiting patiently to be detoxified and be rid of all the warts and scars.

N/B: This woeful self-pitying episode starts next week lah of course. Minggu ni kena binge dulu.