Blood test

This morning I went to the clinic for a blood test. In the doctor's office, she was trying to look for a vein visible enough for her to poke the needle in. While doing so she kept asking me if I could stand the sight of blood. If not it would be better for me to lie down during the procedure instead of me sitting on a chair and risking passing out and roll off the chair out off the room.

Dia ikat lengan saya dengan tali velcro. Dia jentik-jentik mencari urat yang timbul.Dia suruh saya genggam-genggam tangan macam main cap-cekur-gam-gamit masa kecik-kecik dulu. Tapi masih tak jumpa tempat sesuai untuk disuntik. Sambil mencari dia berbual kosong dengan saya supaya saya tidak panik.

-Hmmm I can't seem to find any vein.

-Ohh. Doctor does that mean I have good smooth skin?

-It means your veins are deep down. Sebab awak ada banyak isi.

-Ohhhh.

She tried on both forearms but still couldn't find a good vein. Doktor saya geleng-geleng kepala. Muka dia sangat masam. Saya macam ada sedikit cuak.

-So doctor if we cannot find a vein how??

-Hmmm....well looks like we might have to cut off an arm then.

HAH! Deep down I knew she was just cracking a joke but she looked so serious that I couldn't help but feel very worried. Not to mention start to imagine the worst.

She saw my muka pucat and terus exclaim "Hah quick quick fist pump fist pump!"

I did as was told. She found a bulging vein. Blood extracted. End of story.

Logik ke bila muka pucat darah semua ke tangan? Entahlah tapi semasa hendak keluar dari ofis doktor saya terdengar gelak "hahahawasudakenakandiabeb" nya. Haih. Takpa lah janji misi tercapai!

Amazing animal facts

• A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.
• A bee must visit 4,000 flowers in order to make one tablespoon of honey.
• Humpback whales create the loudest sound of any living creature.
• Bald eagles may use the same nest year after year, adding more twigs and branches each time. One nest was found that had been used for 34 years and weighed over two tons.
• Great White Sharks can go as long as three months without eating.
• A bee can see the colors green, blue and ultra-violet - but red looks like black.
• A giant squid’s eyes have a diameter of 15 inches which are the largest of any animal.
• A zebra is white with black stripes.
• Mayflies live for a year or more as larvae; but as adults they live for only a few hours.
• Bats always turn left when leaving a cave.
• 3 out of 10 Dalmation dogs suffer from hearing loss due to inbreeding.
• Hummingbirds are the only animal that can also fly backwards.
• Polar bears are the only mammal with hair on the soles of its feet.
• The African Elephant has a gestation period of 22 months while a short-nosed bandicoot gestates for 12 days.
• The cockroach is the fastest animal on 6 legs  covering a meter a second.
• The mortality rate if bitten by a Black Mambo snake is over 95%.
• Ticks are second only to the mosquito as the most dangerous parasites to humans.
• According to one study, plant and animal species are becoming extinct at the rate of 17 per hour.
• The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.
• A dog’s sense of smell is 1,000 times stronger than humans.
• Killer Whales (Orcas) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
• Bald eagles can actually swim! They use an overhand movement of the wings that is very much like the butterfly stroke.
• Hummingbird’s consume half of their weight in food daily.
• A hippopotamus can run faster than a man.
• A large swarm of locusts can eat 80,000 tons of corn in a day.
• Most elephants weigh less than the tongue of a blue whale.
• Female fleas consume fifteen times their weight daily.
• A cockroach can survive for about a week without its head before dying of starvation.
• When a dolphin is sick or injured, its cries of distress summon immediate aid from other dolphins, who try to support it to the surface so that it can breathe.
• The whale shark has over 4,000 teeth. Each tooth is only 3mm long.
• A rhinoceros beetle can support up to 850 times its own weight on it's back. That would be the equivalent of a man carrying 76 family-sized cars around on his back.
• Mosquitoes have been found to prefer biting people with smelly feet.
• A dragonfly can spot an insect moving 33 feet away.
• Certain Chinese and American alligators can survive the winter by freezing their heads in ice, leaving their nose out to breath for months on end.
• Polar Bears are capable of jumping as high as 6 feet and can run as fast as 25mph.
• Sea Otters use so much energy that they need to eat as much as one-third of their weight each day.
• The ‘crosshairs’ of gun sights were made of spider web filaments until the 1960’s.
• The sailfish, the swordfish and the mako shark have all been clocked at swimming over 50mph.
• Mosquitos are attracted most to the color blue.
• The male penguin incubates the single egg laid by his mate. During the two month period he does not eat, and will lose up to 40% of his body weight.
• Honeybees have hair on their eyes.
• The heart of a shrimp is located in its head.
• Over 10,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows.
• An adult lion's roar can be heard up to five miles away, and warns off intruders or reunites scattered members of the pride.
• The only continent without reptiles or snakes is Antarctica.
• Some frogs are able to be frozen and then thawed, and continue living.
• A group of herring is called a seige.
• A Holstein's spots are like a fingerprint or snowflake. No two cows have exactly the same pattern of spots.
• Cats prefer to eat their food at 86º F, which is why they don't immediately gulp down the half-eaten can of food from the refrigerator.
• A goldfish is the only animal that can see infrared and ultraviolet light.
• One in 5,000 North Atlantic lobsters are born bright blue.
• A snail can sleep for 3 years.
• A group of jelly fish is called a smack.
• The oceans contain 99 percent of the living space on the planet.
• The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.
• There are 701 types of pure breed dogs.
• There are about 100 breeds of cats.
• A tiger's paw prints are called pug marks.
• Over 100,000 birds, whales, seals and turtles worldwide are killed by plastic rubbish every year. Marine life, in particular turtles, is prone to mistaking plastic bags for jellyfish, ingesting them and dying of intestinal blockage.
• Infant beavers are called kittens.
• The fastest bird, the spine-tailed swift, can fly as fast as 106mph.
• Slugs have 4 noses.
• Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same sex.
• Spotted skunks do handstands before they spray.
• Bird droppings are the chief export of Nauru, an island nation in the Western Pacific.
• A cow gives nearly 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime.
• A cheetah can reach a top speed approaching 70 mph.
• A newborn kangaroo is about 1 inch in length.
• Greyhounds can jump a distance of 27 feet.
• Yak milk is pink in color.
• An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes.
• Of the approximately 200 eggs laid by a female leatherback sea turtle an average of two will survive their youth and grow to sexual maturity.
• Dolphins sleep with one half of the brain at a time, and one eye closed.
• A woodpecker can peck 20 times per second.
• For every person there are rougly 200 million insects.
• An electric eel can produce a shock of up to 650 volts.
• The leech has 32 brains.
• Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand.
• The Galpagos Tortoise has a potential life span of 200 years.
•  A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
• The average outdoor only cat has a lifespan of about three years. Indoor only cats can live sixteen years and longer.
• The cheetah is the only cat in the world that can't retract its claws.
• The praying mantis only has one ear.
• Dragonflies are one of the fastest insects, flying 50 to 60 mph.
• Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
• It takes a lobster about seven years to grow to be one pound.
• The membranes in a dog's nose, if unfolded and laid out, would be larger than the dog itself.
• Large kangaroos can cover over 30 feet with each jump.
• A group of owls is called a parliament.
• Of all known forms of animals life ever to inhabit the Earth, only about 10 percent still exist today.
• A rhinoceros's horn is made of hair.
• On average, pigs live for about 15 years.
• Elephants have been found swimming miles from shore in the Indian Ocean.
• Sharks apparently are the only animals that never get sick. They are immune to every type of disease including cancer.
• Kiwi birds are blind, they hunt by smell.
• A chameleon’s tongue is twice the length of its body.
• Roosters can't crow if they can't fully extend their necks.
• Male seahorses produce offspring.
• The placement of a donkey's eyes in its head enables it to see all four feet at all times.
• Giraffes have no vocal cords.
• A full-grown bear can run as fast as a horse.
• Elephants have been known to remain standing after they die.
• Goat's eyes have rectangular pupils.
• An albatross can sleep while flying.
• A dolphin's hearing is so acute that it can pick up an underwater sound from fifteen miles away.
• A mosquito has 47 teeth.
• No two zebras have the same markings.
• A flamingo can eat only when its head is upside down.
• Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.
• Butterflies taste with their hind feet.
• The sex organ on a male spider is located at the end of one of its legs.
• Birds do not sleep in their nests. They may occasionally nap in them, but they actually sleep in other places.
• Armadillos, opossums, and sloth’s spend about 80% of their lives sleeping.
• Lobsters can live up to 50 years.
• The ears of a cricket are located on the front legs, just below the knee.
• Bees have five eyes. There are 3 small eyes on the top of a bee's head and 2 larger ones in front.

Another visit to the clinic

The other day I watched my niece playing doctor/nurse with her plush toy reptile patients; ie a crocodile and a snake. Both were returning patients, so she had their medical history, and was referring to her notes as she spoke to them. Both the reptiles came in together to see her for consultation.

-Well hello Mister Crocodile. You're not feeling well today? Let me check your temperature. Hmmmm. Everything seems ok. Ohhh...what's this smell? Oh dear. I think it's just your ketiak masam again. You need to bathe more Mister Crocodile.

(she refers to her doctor's notes)

-Yes yes. It's ketiak masam. I will ask the nurse to give you some bedak and perfume. Excuse me? Did you say something Mister Snake?

(and she leaned closer towards the snake to listen to what he had to say)

-Oh yes. Definitely. You will not get ketiak masam. Because you don't have any ketiak! Very clever of you!

:))))

Foto saiz IC

Yesterday I had to go take IC size photos to renew my teaching permit. It's something that you have to renew every five years if you're in a IPTS. Sort of like having a driving license. If you don't have it, you're not supposed to drive a car. But it doesn't mean you don't know how to.

Well, anyway, nowadays it becomes super easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy to go get your IC size pics done. Just smile, shoot, come back in 10 minutes time and the work's all done. In less than 15 minutes. Unless of course if you're not satisfied with the first two shots taken by the photographer. Then you'll have to go at it again. Try suggesting that he take a side profile of your portrait as well and see his eyes rolling in irritation. (well the one I asked this question did).

Well, ANYWAY, after the photo session was done I went to pay at the counter (just turn to the left, walk two steps and you reach the cash register and voilà hey the photog's also the cashier well what do you know). He reminded me politely to come back in 10 minutes' time. I said OK. Then I remembered that he didn't give me any receipt so I asked for one.

-Eh you tak da bagi saya resit la bos.

-Tada hal la Miss. Siap nanti saya bagi itu gambar pada you.

-Tapi macamana you tau itu gambar saya.

-ITU MUKA DALAM FOTO SERUPA MUKA YOU JUGA LA.

His eyes rolled a second time.

OH.

*dumb blonde moment*

Pantun Indon lucu (konon)

Received this collection of SMS lawak when I was in Medan last week. Hmm I wonder how much I had to pay for that. The brand of humor is a little different from ours. More slapstick. But I still laugh at them. Aku kan Ratu Corny.

SMS nembak cewek:

Ikan hiu pegel-pegel
I love U girl...

SMS I love myself:

Buah semangka buah duren
Nggak nyangka gue keren

Buah semangka buah manggis
Nggak nyangka gue manis

Disana gunung, disini gunung,
Ditengah-tengah bunga melati
Saya bingung kamu pun bingung
Kenapa ada bunga melati ???!?

Jambu merah di dinding
Jangan marah just kidding! :)

Teka-teki

Yesterday my niece asked this teka-teki:

"Banyak-banyak bola, bola apa yang paling dihormati?"

The answer was bola golf. Sebab lepas pukul kena tabik untuk lihat di mana bola tu jatuh.

And it seems that I was the only one who didn't know the answer. All my other friends did, even the ones at the office.

A few weeks ago she gave another one too:

"Cuba sebut ni dalam bahasa Inggeris: ambik-ambik-pergi-muda."

Hahahahaha. Sebut cepat! :)))

Perbualan kajicuaca yang tak berapa dikaji

Last weekend we visited some relatives for lunch. After the meal we stayed at the table to catch up with family goings-on (read: gossip). My mom chatted with our host.

-Tak lama lepaih tu dia masuk hospital. Lama jugak. Kena sakit terbit bulan.

-Sakit apa tu?

-Alaa sakit terbit bulan tu la. Yang isi terkeluaq tu.

-Terbit bulan ke bulan mengambang?

-Tak tak. Ala sakit orang lelaki selalu dapat tu.

(I was there at the table but didn't say a word because I was completely clueless)

-Oh tau tau sakit angin ribut.

-Ni ha pasang surut!!!

-Oh. Habaq la awai-awai!

They were actually talking about hernia. Sebelum dapat nama yang betul habis semua fenomena metorologik dikeluarkan mereka.

Which, by the way, is called angin pasang-pasang in Malay. That's what a friend told me.