Turtle Power

Semalam, sempena mengambil kesempatan cuti Hari Kebangsaan, kami sekeluarga telah mengambil keputusan untuk "memerdekakan" Agus, kura-kura air kami yang sudah kami pelihara lebih dari setahun. Kami merasakan yang sudah tiba masanya Agus dilepaskan ke persekitaran yang lebih menyerupai habitat semulajadinya dan kolam di taman berhadapan kompleks membeli-belah One Utama telah dikenalpasti sebagai kawasan sasaran. Kami pun prihatin juga akan kehendak dan kemahuannya. Kalau dia bosan lepak dalam kolam, dia boleh melepak minum espresso doppio di Starbucks.

Ekspedisi ini telah dianggotai 6 orang: ibu saya, adik saya, kawan adik saya, adik ipar saya dan anak buah saya. Dan Agus juga jangan lupa. Misi berlangsung selepas berbuka puasa untuk meminimalisasikan faktor gangguan lain seperti orangramai yang lalu-lalang yang kepochi dan pegawai sekuriti yang mungkin akan mengesyakki yang kami cuba mencuri kura-kura yang sedia ada di dalam kolam 1U itu.

So, on to the real story (with all the info and statistical data provided by a trusted source, my mom)

At first they went to the 1U park to release Agus there but later found out that he wouldn't have a great social life there as all they could see was a baby land turtle hanging around by the the pond. So there was a change of plan and they headed to the Kiara Park where there was one pond that is filled with Agus' peeps. He'd surely be happy swimming around all the other male and female water turtles, and finally have the chance to sample different culinary delights other than the turtle pellets that we feed him every single day from the first day we brought him home. Sometimes the people who come to this park will feed them bread, kangkung, or if they are really lucky burger left-overs. Nah, just kidding. About the bread and kangkung.

So when they arrived there, my brother slowly released him into the pond. Oh I forgot to mention that to honour and remember Agus, we've painted a giant yellow A on his back. With hindsight I think we should've painted A|X instead. Baru nampak macam pakai designer combat t-shirt.

By this time my niece had started to cry. She had opposed this mission from the very beginning, citing ill-treatment and cruelty to domestic animals as the main reason.

Agus slowly waddled into the pond, berenang ke sana ke mari sambil high-five dengan semua yang ada di sekelilingnya. Then he swam back to them and put his head up to stare at my brother. Then he went back to the middle of the pool. But still came back to where my family was waiting. And looked up expectantly. Almost as if he was waiting for his food to be fed to him. Literally, I mean. My dad would patiently feed him the pellets every day. I think he is the "most overly fed and fat but hides it well under the shell" pet water turtle in Taman Tun.

And he kept waiting. His head above the water looking at them. By this time my niece was bawling her eyes out. My brother started crying. My mom jangan cerita la. Tengok iklan ibu dan anak pun boleh nangis. Pendek kata semua yang hadir sedih lah melihat kesayuan di mata Agus. Mungkin dia tahu kenapa dia di letakkan di situ dan mahu merayu meminta jangan dilepaskan. But they had to do what they had to do.

So they turned back and left.



One by one.



With Agus along with them.


I now seriously think that Agus is the fifth unknown Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle member. While the rest have great physical strength, Agus is the one with the mind-bending power. Dia telah berjaya mensaikokan empat orang dewasa dan seorang kanak-kanak untuk percaya yang tempat yang lebih elok untuknya adalah di dalam rumah dan teman-teman sepermainan yang dia perlukan adalah empat ekor kucing dan seekor ikan puyu dan bukan bersama rakan-rakan yang sama spesis dengannya di luar sana. Lagipun nanti kalau hujan boleh pening kepala. Jangan main-main dengan hujan asid ni.

Agus is now happily reunited with his good ole tub at home. When he gets bored, he stares out through the translucent plastic and watch the kittens play.

And from this moment on I shall call him Agustino, the fifth TNMT member alongside Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Rapahael et Donatello. Super A for short.

Esok cuti!

-Murid-murid semua sudah hafal lagu Sudirman tu?
-Sudah cikgu.
-Baiklah, kita mulakan latihan. Three, four...
-Tanggal....tiga puluh satuuu...bulan lapan....lima puluh tujuuuuh...
-Errr...cikgu?
-Ya Amran?
-Mak saya cakap siang-siang hari tak boleh bukak baju nanti perut masuk tungau.
-Bila cikgu suruh awak bukak baju?
-Tu cikgu kata tanggal?

OK OK lousy joke. But anyway "Selamat Menyambut Hari Kemerdekaan Malaysia Yang Ke 53"!

Masa puasa boleh cerita pasal telur tak?

Di satu awal pagi yang hening, setelah selesai bersahur, saya dan anak buah saya berehat-rehat di atas sofa. Bak kata bapak saya "melenggang perut" sambil menikmati Nescafe dan kuih tat restoran Santai yang sungguh sedap itu. Saya seorang sahaja yang minum Nescafe; anak buah saya hanya duduk di atas riba saya dan melayan saya berborak. Pada waktu yang sama keempat-empat kucing kami juga bergelimpangan di sudut kegemaran masing-masing di ruang tamu.

One of the cats that we have is a mixed breed. Half Persian and half local. His name is Momoi. He is a handsome semi long-haired ginger cat yang berhidung mancung (as opposed to the hidung penyets of the true Persian breed). I want the long fur and body of a Persian but without the having to go through the hassle of cleaning the nose and eyes every day). To get a bit of the pedigree qualities but adapting it to the local preferences. Bukankah itu sebahagian daripada ciri-ciri konsep "glokal" yang sering diwar-warkan oleh DSNTR?

So as we were happily chatting away and munching on the delicious tarts, we watched Momoi cleaning himself. He had his back to us, sitting on the floor and licking his paws. My niece looked at him at laughed.

-Kenapa Aina gelak?
-Tengok la Momoi tu. Comel sangat. Dari sini nampak dia macam telur.
-Ohhh. OK. Ya la from here he looks like one.
-Heheheh funny la Momoi ni. Kadang-kadang macam karipap, kadang-kadang macam telur.
-Aina sayang tak Momoi?
-Sayang sangat. Look Mak Long. He's so funny. Macam telur berbulu.

Then she asked me the million dollar question:

-Sebelum ni Mak Long pernah tak tengok telur berbulu?

*gulp*

Tifa Lolobrigida

Yesterday on the way back home I stopped by a fast food restaurant to buy their combo meal (of chicken and prawn) as I suddenly had a craving for greasy fried chicken. There was one at the Petronas petrol station in Taman Tun. Which now actually accommodates a fast food restaurant, a sandwich shop, a laundry shop and the post office. Complete with basement parking. No wonder they were closed for nearly a year for renovation work.

While I was queuing up to get my order, the lady behind me was discussing about her pet and showing some cat pictures that she had in her handphone to her friend. I looked at them and smiled, hoping to be included in the conversation as well, as I was really curious to see how her cat looked like. Then we started chatting (it was a long queue). I told her one of my cat's name was Tina.

-Saya ada banyak kucing. Satu tu nama dia Tina.
-Waaa...like my cat one..tapi dia punya nama ada sikit lain. Tifa.
-Owh. Macam nama perempuan jugak.
-Ya ka. No laaa. English name wor.
-Ohhh...like Tiffany?
-No no. Like Tifa la. You know Mariah? Whitney? Tifa? Tifa?

*Yati shows a blank face*

-Haiya. You got Tancing Queen. You got Tama Queen. So you got Tifa oso la.

Tancing and Tifa. The perfect combo. but if got Tama ha, a bit tifficur wor.


Tip: Replace the "t" with a "d" and the "f" with a "v".

Pintu

My office is quite a spacious workspace area divided into 8 cubicles with low partitions. It's nice and quiet in here (because the other lecturers in this office are peace-loving people, they don't like to create much noise-mungkin sebab mereka semua pensyarah Air-Conditioning and Refrigeration kot, sentiasa cool dan senyap). Not to mention that we have the best view outside. There are two doors that open to our office.

Yesterday afternoon I was alone in the office. One student entered through the front door and asked if Mr X was around. I told him that the lecturer he was looking for probably had class and asked him to see if he was in the classroom next door. He said thank you and left.

Then he knocked at the back door of the office and entered. He came up to me and said, "Puan tadi saya cari En X kat ofis dia. Saya tanya ada satu madam tu pastu dia suruh saya gi bilik sebelah. Tapi saya tak jumpa la Puan."

I looked at myself in the mirror that I had on my desk. Dalam masa setengah minit dari saat pelajar tersebut keluar dari ofis saya mengikut pintu depan dan masuk ke dalam semula mengikut pintu belakang tidak pula terjadi apa-apa mutasi genetik ketara yang menyebabkan saya berubah rupa. Saya tengok muka Jawa saya tetap remain Jawa.

Dan dalam hati saya bertanya siapalah kutu yang telah membuka pintu belakang ofis kami. Selalunya kami memang pastikan ia berkunci. Untuk tidak mengelirukan golongan mudah tertipu seperti pelajar yang sedang berdiri semula di hadapan saya ketika itu.

Ini mesti kutu Air-cond ni.

Sabar itu separuh dari iman...so what's the other half?

For my French course the students need to print out on their own their course notes, grammar notes and exercise sheets that the lecturers have uploaded to the institute's e-learning portal. So from Week 1 I've informed all my students to do so as I would not be photocopying any for them.

Last week was already week 4. And some of the students still had not done so. In one of the classes more than half of them still came to class empty handed. So Madame Yati had to deliver her free lectures #54 and #55 entitled "Korang kalau nak belajar buat cara nak belajar kalau tak jangan buang masa aku" and "Jangan buang duit RM500 untuk bayaran 2 jam kredit dengan hanya duduk menganga". Dah nama pun lecturer kan?

So after several minutes of ear bombarding I just stood in front of them and asked them what they wanted to do then since they had no notes to work with and I was so annoyed with their lackadaisical attitude.

Everybody had made the wise decision to keep quiet except for one student who sat right in front of the class who meekly came up with a suggestion. Tapi masa cakap tu pun tunduk. Suara pun perlahan aje. Sebab takut kena libas.

....."Anger management therapy?"

So how can you not like teaching this bunch of students?

Cepat? Lambat?

Every year during the fasting month I will face the same problem. What time do I need to leave the office in Bangi in order to arrive home on time for berbuka without having to go through the massive traffic jam of the grand exodus? Suddenly the whole of the Klang Valley (or so it seems like it) wants to buy their ayam percik and kuih pelita at the Taman Tun Dr Ismail Ramadhan bazaar. Leceh betul.

Last week I tried leaving at 5pm. I reached the TTDI toll at the SPRINT highway at around 5.30pm. And guess what? It took me 1.5hours to reach the traffic lights at the TTDI Pizza Hut. If it wasn't the puasa month now I would've probably continued this entry with use of expletives such as WTH or WTF to emphasize on my extreme frustration of having to endure 90 minutes of bumper-to-bumper traffic when during a normal day it would've just taken me 10 minutes or less. Terima kasih DBKL kerana telah mengepung kawasan bazaar ramadhan TTDI yang telah menyebabkan kesesakan lalulintas melampau kerana trafik dari jalan besar tidak dapat memasuki kawasan Taman Tun dan kereta-kereta dari bazaar ramadhan pula yang penuh sarat dengan sate, popiah basah, murtabak daging, kuih tako, roti john, air tebu, nasi tomato, laksa Perlis dan tidak dilupakan kambing golek seekor tidak dapat keluar dari kawasan bazaar.

So there are only two options left for me. The first one is that I go back really early, as in before 4pm, or go home late. Maybe at 6.30. And hope that the roads would be clear by that time. Whatever it is, yang penting ialah stok bekalan buah kurma yang perlu sentiasa ada di dalam kereta. Dan air kotak Ribena.