Parking

This morning after having breakfast with a friend I stopped by the bank to wothdraw some money. As I was just about to swing into the parking lot, a big red car suddenly swerved before me and took the exact parking space that I was aiming. I honked at the driver. Dia buat-buat tak dengar. I gave ''the stare''. Dia buat-buat tak nampak.

I honked and stared again. This time a little bit longer. Lama-kelamaan mahu tak mahu dia terpaksa juga memandang ke arah saya. Lagipun semua orang di dalam bank pun sudah mula menunjukkan minat terhadap kejadian pseudo road rage yang sedang berlaku di hadapan mereka.

I parked my car at the small road beside the bank and walked quickly to enter, wanting to get the business done with as fast as possible before the solat jumaat crowd start to fill up the roads. Tetapi rupa-rupanya jejaka berkereta merah itu menunggu saya dan sesampainya saya di bank tersebut dia terus keluar dan mula menjerit-jerit. Well, menjerit-jerit is not the correct word I'd use to describe his kelakuan actually. The proper word would be ''membebel''.

When he came out of his car I had to bite the insides of my lips so hard to stop myself from laughing out loud. Kereta besar dan cantik. Warna merah. Tapi mamat yang keluar tu a) kecik b) pendek c) pakai kasut macam kasut platform untuk menambahkan beberapa inci kepada ketinggiannya apakebenda orang panggil kasut jenis tu tapi yang itu lah.

And then the verbal diarrhea started.

''Awak kenapa tiba-tiba nak hon kat saya? bla bla bla tak nampak ke? bla bla bla ingat awak bagus ke? bla bla bla saya kenal ramai orang bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla orang pompuan macam ni la bla bla bla bla eleh macam la best sangat bla bla bla tinggi semacam bla bla bla ingat aku takut dengan pompuan tinggi bla bla bla...''

Eh? Aku tinggi pun jadi isu dalam hal ini?

Brader, is it my fault that you have not exceeded your genetic potential like I have? Adakah saya yang harus dipersalahkan bila anda berdiri di sebelah saya bahu anda hanya setakat mencecah pinggang saya? And if I were to be your spouse, I'd buy one whole box of those spectacles, you know the ones that have eyes painted on the two lenses. Agak-agak rasa sesi membebel nak mula je, maka teruslah capai spek mata tersebut dan buat-buat akur mendengar. Padahal tidur. Amacam OK?

Gerun jugak saya nak membebel-bebel tak tentu pasal macam tu. Takut bila tua esok jadi nyanyuk big time.

Kereta Katak

Last night I went for a seafood dinner with a few friends. On the way to Kayu Ara, we stopped at a traffic light, behind a VW Beetle. When the traffic light turned green, we drove off as usual. Then my friend's dad looked at the VW Beetle in front of us and said, "Wah! That car reversing is it?"

Heheh. Cute eh? A car that looks the same depan belakang. Like the Audi TT. Jalan ke depan pun macam gostan.

Apa nak buat lagi makan je lah

These are some of the dishes I sampled while on a short weekend holiday with besties to Penang to visit another girlfriend.

So basically it was like this: if we weren't eating we we either in front of the telly doing absolutely nothing or driving around the island cursing at almost every single Penang driver. I swear to God their road courtesy factor is -54.

And now I have to start on my ''I have to lose 5 kg by 31/1/11'' plan with the same makan-makan friends to get prepared for the next culinary treats and delights during our next jalan-jalan trip.

But needless to say with all that face-stuffing during the road trip I am feeling a little bit fat. I may have put on a few kilos. In fact, if I bend down, my big butt could probably be seen from the moon.

Saman

Yesterday I went to the Kajang Police Station to settle all my summonses. When they announced the YES (Year End Sale) of 50% discount on all traffic offences, I knew I just had to go and pay up. Lagipun ini semua saman terkumpul dari 2002. Dan lagi satu faktor penggalak adalah surat amaran yang saya terima yang menyatakan jika semua saman-saman saya tidak dibayar nama saya akan disenaraihitamkan dan waran tangkap akan dikeluarkan. Kalau diperintah masuk mahkamah nanti saya tak tau baju apa nak pakai. Adakah saya perlu membeli rambut palsu bergulung warna putih tu? Yang macam di televisyen tu? How?

I had to wait for more than one hour before they finally called up my number. When I went to the counter to queue, ada seorang pakcik tua Cina datang menghampiri saya dan menunjukkan borangnya dan kemudian menuding jari ke arah kaunter. Tua betul pakcik tu. Bila saya tengok dia saya terus teringat pada pokok bonzai. Kemudian dia mengeluarkan sekeping kad dan menunjukkannya kepada saya juga. Kad OKU. Dia bercakap-cakap dalam bahasa Kantonis. Lelaki yang beratur di belakang saya jadi penterjemah. Agak cun lelaki tu. Tinggi dan botak. Pandai cakap melayu pula. Hai adalah jugak halwa mata. Bila fokus menjurus ke arah lain takde lah saya rasa macam nak pengsan sangat dalam bilik yang penuh sesak dengan segala jenis manusia. You want to experience the real 1Malaysia? Go to your nearest IPPD Trafik during the discount offer period.

In a matter of minutes the old man was done. He looked at me and spoke to me in Cantonese. Lama pulak tu. Sambil senyum dan angguk-angguk. Saya pun senyum-senyum dan angguk-angguk semula. And looked back at Mr UN Interpreter to help me with this last piece of translation.

"Ohhh...pakcik tu cakap terima kasih. Lepas tu dia suruh bagi nombor telefon awak kat mamat tinggi botak yang tolong translate ni.''

Wow. Really? I like. :)))

ATM

Just now during lunch break I went to take out some money at the ATM. I am tempted to write ATM machine but as you know ATM already stands for Automatic Teller Machine so adding the word machine at the end of ATM would be quite of a redundancy.

Well anyway, it was a long queue. A long, long, long queue. Al-maklumlah sempena akhir bulan ni semua orang riang ria gembira. Ditambah pulak dengan para pekerja kilang yang setiap seorang mahu mengeluarkan sejumlah wang bukan sahaja untuk dirinya tetapi untuk supervisor kilangnya, untuk isterinya, untuk kawan Nepalnya dan juga untuk Pak Lang di kampung. There should be a law enacted against these people who take out money for more than one person other than himself. Bukannya apa saya ni seorang yang sangat tinggi. Jadinya jantung saya perlu mengepam darah dengan lebih kuat lagi untuk memastikan oksigen sampai ke seluruh badan. Kalau lama sangat berdiri saya boleh pengsan.

Semasa sedang menunggu kedengaran suara seorang budak kecil berkata, "Ayah pompuan pakai baju biru tu tinggi betul." Aku dah tau dah itu mesti mengata aku. Saya buat-buat tak dengar.

Kemudian kedengaran ayahnya tergelak besar dan berkata, "Bukan tinggi tu. Dah panjang sangat."

Haiyo kiddo. Yo Daddy so dumb when the light is switched on in the room he thinks he just got a bright idea.

Feedjit

A few weeks ago I installed this little application called Feedjit. I took the free version of course (being the real cheapo that I am). It's a nifty little gadget that tracks the visitors of my blog. So if you've clicked to visit, my Feedjit will be fidgeting to tell me where you come from. Sometimes I see there are people from Bandar (most probably my colleagus or students here in Bangi), from KL, from Penang, from Kuching, from Johor Bharu. Mungkin mereka semua rakan-rakan SMSS saya. And it's wonderful to know that I do get readers from other parts of the world as well.

Take for example:

-Tokyo, Japan: My friend Yuhana?
-Fort Illinois, Colorado : My Aunty Leha?
-Illinois, Chicago: Err..my Aunty Leha again?
-Manchester: My PhD friend?
-Birmingham: My other PhD friend?
-Dover: Err...my same PhD friend but signing in from another computer?

OK OK so maybe not many people read my blog. But hey you know what I have my own personal KPI. If I can make at least 5 people smile a day when they read Papillon Putih that is for me quite an achievement. I hope to touch the lives of others in my own wacky way. You could be one of my colleagus, my students, my friends, my family members. Or just an errant blog hopper who happened to stumble upon my writings. We might not keep in contact all the time but I hope this could be one of tho ways we can "keep in touch". Figuratively, of course. Heheheh.

So thanks again for reading guys. Ada la rasa berbaloi sikit menulis bila ada orang yang membaca. Kalau saya yang tulis saya yang baca macam syok sendiri pulak. Tak kisah la baca sebab suka saya atau baca sebab tak suka saya. At least I've made an impact. It's better than having made none at all.

Tong Bak

The day my muay thai fitness instructor asks me to wear the head protective gear that you see at the background of the photo, I know I'm in deep shit. But those hot pink gloves of mine are pretty cute eh?

Sekarang ni pun baru disuruh buat jab-cross-hook-elbow pun dah termengah-mengah. By the time kena buat roundhouse kick I am asking for my oxygen tank.

And the worst part is that I just discovered that I had signed up for 25 sessions and I have 22 more classes to go! This is what happens when you sign up for a class because you got attracted to the "Free trip to Bali" offer (which I still have yet to redeem with my girlfriend).

But at least the good thing is that now at least mau tak mau suka tak suka ada la jugak sekali seminggu bersenam dan mengeluarkan peluh. Teruk kena belasah tu lain cerita la. Nasib baik my trainer is someone with a good sense of humour. Kalau tak tu lagi teruk aku kena. Mana taknya baru 10 minit into the session dah lari ke kerusi berdekatan. Where got road like that. He is forever negotiating with me. "OK kak. Boleh lagi kak. Bangun kak! Cepat!". Dulu masa adik saya baru belajar berenang saya selalu gelakkan dia. Dia selalu malas prektis berenang. My mum would shout from across the pool to ask him to do his strokes. And he would shout back "Tak nak! Nanti mati lemas!". Now I am doing exactly the same thing. But at 40 I don't think it's something adorable and cute. Mungkin by now my trainer feels like throwing me out of the window.

And another good thing is that we have discovered a very nice makan place opposite the muay thai studio. While I was cycling on the stationary bike last Saturday, tengok-tengok luar tingkap ternampak sebuah rumah yang ditukarkan menjadi restoran. Turned out to be the Kokopelli Traveller's Bistro that serves good food with a great ambiance. Just the perfect place to chill and relax selepas aktiviti menumbuk.

See? Life ain't that bad. You let yourself be thrown into the ring, take a few punches and you get back up again and look a little further beyond. There's a nice hot bowl of beef noodle soup waiting for you just around the corner.

Absolutely lovely :)