Banggali! Banggali!

A few days ago I went to one of the hypermarkets near my house for some pre-Ramadhan grocery shopping. Well the only extra item that I had to buy was the F&N Rose Syrup. According to my Mum's grocery list, it HAD to be F&N. Cap lain tak boleh.

While I was at the meat section, I saw a group of foreign workers looking at someone and talking or arguing with each other. I couldn't really tell what the topic was about as I don't speak Bangladeshi. But everytime they spoke, terkeluar perkataan "banggali". Cakap-cakap sikit ..."banggali"... cakap-cakap lagi ..."banggali"... angguk-angguk-geleng-geleng ..."banggali" ...

So I looked around and saw that they were looking at a very pretty girl in her mid 30s. Whom actually as I looked closer was a friend of mine. She had Pakistani blood. Cantik la. So I went over to say hello to her and tell her what I overheard. She was just amused and said that it was normal for people to mistake her for a an Indian girl.

Tup-tap-tup-tap I heard those men talking again. But this time looking at me. And in the conversation I heard them saying "Tinggi! Tinggi!".

My friend looked at me and said, "Padan muka kau. Ni turn kau pulak kena."

Selamat menyambut Ramadhan yang mulia

Semasa saya bersekolah asrama di Kg Kongo nun jauh di benua Afrika sana, kedatangan bulan Ramadhan amat dinantikan dengan penuh rasa gembira. Disamping dapat menunaikan solat terawikh bersama rakan-rakan yang lain dan menghadiri ceramah dan tadarus, bulan puasa juga merupakan bulan di mana kami boleh tidur lebih panjang pada waktu tengahari sebelum prep petang dan semasa main petang. Kalau siapa yang larat tu boleh lah bersukan. Tapi saya tidaklah seperti mereka. Saya lebih cenderung kepada prinsip "Conservation of Energy". Tidur, baring, atau melakukan aktiviti yang tidak memerlukan banyak pergerakan. Apa lagi hendak dibuat? Nak skodeng abang ragbi pun dah tak boleh. Kena jaga mata wo. Tak boleh pandang yang bukan-bukan masa bulan puasa ni.

Akan tetapi yang paling penting sekali semasa bulan Ramadhan adalah menu di Dewan Makan yang lebih istimewa sedikit dari hari-hari biasa. Ada sedikit kelainan. Bukan sekadar makan nasi putih dan lauk dan minum air suam sahaja. Ada kuih. Ada air minuman yang berwarna dan berperisa. Kadang-kadang ada aiskrim.

Pada suatu petang kami semua seperti biasa duduk di meja di Dewan Makan sementara menunggu azan maghrib untuk berbuka. Lauk di atas tray besi kelihatan sungguh menyelerakan. Air pula berwarna pink.

Apabila azan berkumandang kami pun tanpa pandang kiri kanan menogok air dari cawan plastik biru. Hmmm. Lain pulak rasanya air hari ini. Minggu lepas pun ada dihidangkan air pink ini. Tapi rasanya sedap. Kenapa hari ini ada rasa Dettol?

Bila saya amati betul-betul saya lihat ada satu ketulan berwarna coklat di dasar cawan. Saya kuis-kuis dengan jari. Rupa-rupanya makcik Dewan Makan telah tertinggal plaster terpakainya di dalam cawan saya. Padan lah rasa berubat.

Sejak dari hari itu saya cukup fobia dengan air pink yang bersirap dan bersusu lemak manis.

Masa tu you kurus

Yesterday we had the pleasure of receiving our new Chairman of the Board of Directors of MFI at our campus. During his visit to the institute we were treated to a video presentation of MFI and the staff.

In one of the animated slide shows, they showed pictures of the staff taken during the 2008 Aidilfitri gathering. Then my colleague who was sitting beside me elbowed me and said, "Ehh, itu gambar you Tie. Masa tu you kurus!"

If I had chosen to be in my self-denial mode, I would've loved to think that she was implying that I am now "lebih kurus" compared to that 2008 photo.

But of course I know better. After countless remarks which range from "Madame nampak bulat la muka tu." to "Ko macam dah gemuk sikit Tie ek?" I have come to realize that all this extra weight that I feel on my body did not come from the new red specs or extra rings that I am wearing on my finger. And maybe it's high time time that I do something about it.

So now I am thinking of a master plan for my new weight loss program while munching on my second kuih keria. Sedap betul kuih ni. Deep fried and dipped in sugar syrup. My safety blanket in times of need.

But how can you not like Fat/Oil/Gula and depend on them for some quiet reassurance? They even make up the words G-O-O-D F-O-O-D. Right?

Atan buat hal lagi

Last Tuesday on the way to work my car died on me. Well, not really. The engine was still running but when I pressed on the accelerator it just wouldn't move. So I slowly swerved to the side and stopped the car. I put the gear into Neutral. Waited for a while. Then changed it back to Drive. Didn't move. Then switched it to Reverse. Nothing.

A few phone calls later and I was alone waiting for help. Again. Dah dua kali Atan buat hal (panggilan manja kepada kereta ku bila ia meragam. Bila dia OK saya memanggilnya Betty). The first time was last Friday. At that time sudah keluar tanda-tanda kecil keretaku perlu ditukar. Kali ini mungkin sudah muncul tanda besar kot.

Tapi seperti biasa sempat jugalah saya ber FB memberi status update terkini dan meminta tolong sesiapa memberitahu para pelajar yang saya terpaksa membatalkan kelas. Menurut laporan yang diterima, mereka meloncat-loncat kegirangan.

A few minutes had passed when I saw a PLUS Peronda truck stop behind me. One of them came out and walked towards Atan. Whoa. Tinggi. Pakai Rayban. Pakai uniform. Muka serius. At that moment I imagined him strutting in slo mo. Alaaa gaya-gaya robot terminator jahat yang pakai unform polis dan kuat lari tu kan?

He looked at my car and asked me what happened. I was just about to explain everything when my girlfriend arrived with two mechanics. So tengok-tengok-godek-godek and initial diagnosis was that it could be a gearbox problem. So abang polis Peronda PLUS had to tow my car slowly to the nearest toll (Bangi) before it could get towed to the workshop.

Semasa berada di dalam kereta saya semasa kereta saya ditarik, macam-macam nasihat yang diberikan kepada saya (one of them drove the truck and the other drove my car). Lega saya. Muka mereka berdua nampak sangat serius akan tetapi mereka peramah juga rupanya. Mungkin tadi muka berkerut sebab cuaca di luar agak panas.

Setibanya di tol Bangi, mereka menarik kereta saya ke tepi. Sebelum cakap babai saya terfikir untuk mengambil gambar bersama dua abang polis tinggi ini. Hero-hero lebuhraya yang telah menolong saya disaat memerlukan. Saya membuka mulut dan berkata "Encik!". Kedua-dua menoleh ke arah saya. Muka mereka nampak garang semula.

"Ya?"
"Errr..terima kasih ya."
"Sama-sama."

Aku gugup!

Aku tau la

Just now during French class we did a bit of oral Q&A in class to put into practice what we have done so far.

Madame Yati to student A: Tu t'appelles comment? (What is your name?)
Student A to student B: Pssst...madame suruh aku buat apa tu?
Student B to student A: Madame suruh ko gi tandas (quiet laughter in the background; nak gelak kuat-kuat takut madame Yati marah)
Student A to student B: Ek eleh nak menipu tu agak-agak ah. Aku tau la....

And student A went to the front of the classroom to erase the white board.

Kapow

Yesterday my journey home from work took 2.5 hours. Usually it takes only 40 minutes but the combination of heavy rain, slow traffic, it was a Friday, everybody needed to leave the office at the same time contributed to the massive crawl all the way from Bangi to Taman Tun.

As I reached the Petronas station at Taman Tun, I heard a loud explosion from the engine part of the car and lots of white steam came out from under the hood mengaburi pandangan. Luckily I was nearly home (so to speak) and could just park by the roadside. Imagine if it had happened while I was on the highway. Tak dapat nak bayangkan kemarahan dan cemuhan berpuluh ribu pengguna kenderaan yang lain kerana saya akan menyebabkan trafik bertambah perlahan.

And as I sat in the car waiting for help to arrive (nak keluar, hujan), I decided that should this incident cause my engine to go kaput and make me buy a new car, I'd get the new pink MyVi and change the upholstery to candy pink with white trimmings.

Kalau Superman yang datang membantu, dia pasti terbang dari langit dan turun ke bumi memakai spenda merah di luar kan? Tetapi yang datang menolong saya bukan Superman. Yang datang menyelamat datang membawa dua orang pomen berbangsa Nepal (nowadays even superheroes need to outsource. The labor cost is much lower).

It turned out that the radiator hose exploded. Nothing wrong with the engine at all. What they did was do a temporary fitting, took my car to the workshop to get it fixed today. After breakfast I will go and see how my purple car is doing. So no need to book that new pink MyVi after all.

And who needs Superman when you have Superbobo? Merci beaucoup ya. I owe you one :)

A shark story (not a short story)

Pagi tadi saya singgah sebentar di stesen minyak untuk mengisi tangki yang hampir kosong (saya memang suka buat blog entry berkenaan kejadian-kejadian yang berlaku di stesen minyak). Semasa sedang berjalan semula ke kereta selepas membayar di kaunter saya ternampak sebuah kereta Nissan X-Trail hitam di belakang kereta saya. Hmmm. Aku rasa aku kenal kereta ini. Saya berjalan dekat sedikit. Saya nampak ada seorang lelaki sedang berusaha membuka penutup tangki minyak. Waaa memang sah lah saya kenal abang ni. Tapi saya tak berapa nampak dia sebab dia agak terselindung sedikit. Dia lagi lah tak perasan saya langsung kerana sibuk mengisi minyak sehingga tidak pandang kiri kanan. Orang Jawa kata "engrossed".

Saya rasa macam nak buat stunt sedikit. Ni seronok ni kalau buat kejutan di pagi hari. Saya pun berjalan perlahan-lahan menuju ke bahagian belakang keretanya dan bila saya berada betul-betul di belakangnya saya menyergahnya sambil berkata "Hahh apa buat kat sini abang Jerong! Pagi-pagi dah keluar?"

Abang tersebut punyalah terkejut. Dia pusing dan memandang saya atas bawah atas bawah seraya berkata: "WHO YOU CALLING JERONG-JERONG?"

Eh. Alamak. Rendah-rendah tu dah lebih kurang. Kepala botak pun dah macam sama. Pulak tu pakai spek atas kepala. Eh muka Jawa pun dah ada iras lah. Tapi abang ni bila marah cakap omputih (kalau nak tahu sesetengah orang Melayu cakap omputih "when it's serious").

Lantas dengan rasa yang sungguh segan silu saya meminta maaf dan beredar secara perlahan-lahan ke kereta saya.

Silap orang rupanya. Ooops. Sorry.