Aina riding in Mak Long's Ferrari

I drive a car that is 13 years old. I didn't realize how rickety it has become until my niece sat beside me while driving to One Utama yesterday for some bonding time.

We stopped at the big giant intersection in front of One Utama and it just take ages to wait for the light to turn green. We sat quietly. Then my niece made strange sounds. You know the sounds that you make when you open your mouth and just say "Aaaaaaaaa" in front of a fan that is switched on just to hear your voice vibrating?

-Wow! Kerusi kereta Mak Long macam masage chair la!
-Ok.
-Pastu bila cakap pun suara gegar...
-Ok.
-Look Mak Long! The dashboard is shaking!
-Okkkkayyyyy....

Silence for a while.
Then a few seconds later...

-Ooooh Mak Long! You have four hands. I can see you with four hands!
-That's my steering wheel vibrating.
-Wowwww. Your car is one big washing machine! Semua gegar!
-OKAY OKAY OKAY!

And the light turned green.

Jam baru

Pagi tadi saya tengok jam saya. Pukul 6:58. Saya terkejut. Sebab menunjukkan waktu yang lambat. Hai takkan baru beli dah rosak kot? Jam digital yang nombornya glow in the dark tu. Tengok lagi sekali. Mungkin saya rabun. Masih lagi 6:58. Saya tenung jam saya lama-lama. Saya lihat lambang three stripes tu ada di atas. Hmmm...sepatutnya ada di bawah.

Ohhh. Saya pakai jam terbalik. Sebenarnya sudah pukul 8:59.

Barulah betul.

20 interesting facts for the day

1. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it is smiling).

2. Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan.

3. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.

4. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

5. The average person laughs 13 times a day.

6. Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)

7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

8. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

9. The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.

10. Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.

11. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.

12. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.

13. The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!

14. Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks.

15. The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones.

16. Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.

17. Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.

18. The verb “cleave” is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.

19. When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red.

20. When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.

Tap tap

I just discovered today that tapping twice on any photo on the iPhone will zoom it and tapping twice again on the enlarged photo will bring it back to its original size. This after more than one year of use.

Sigh. What else do I need to know about my handphone? Print screen. I should learn about this as well. I've seen people do it.

And after writing a text message, how do we make the keypad disappear so that there's more space for us to read the previous ones?

Do I need a special class for this? Or just the manual?

By the way, where is the manual?

Sigh.

Aina's first swimming lesson

Yesterday was my niece's first swimming class. She burst into the room to show off her new swimming suit and goggles as I was watching some video clips on YouTube about the French language that I can use as material in my class. She was so happy and excited.

"Mak Long! Look at me! Look at my new blue goggles. Cool huh?" and walked back and forth across the room.

Before I could respond, my phone rang. A Chinese lady was on the other end.

-Hello? Cik Nohayati Ya-ya? Saya membwat panggilan dari XXX. Kami ingin menawarkan bla bla bla..."

"Wow! The wall is blue! My goggles have magical powers."

-Di sini saya ingin bagitau Cik ar, jikalau Cik bla bla bla..."

"Whoa! Even the bed is blue! wahahaha!"

-Cik Nohayati busy kah? Sedang driving kah?

Then my niece came to my laptop and shouted,

"Waaa! Mak Long's watching a blue movie!"

-Err...okay lah tak apalah...lain kali sajie la saya call Cik Nohayati...

Toot...toot...toot...

Kejadian di stesen minyak. Again.

This morning I went to a petrol station to fill my tank. I did not have much cash so I used my credit card instead.

When paying at the counter, the cashier gave me the receipt for me to sign and he looked at the card while I was signing.

-Wooo tak boleh la akak. Itu sign takda sama.

So I looked at the back of my card and true enough I had forgotten to sign it since it was one that was recently renewed for me.

-Oh OK.

So I took back the credit card, signed it, and gave it back to the cashier.

He looked at the signature at the back of the card, looked at the one on the receipt and then nodded.

-Wokeh. Sekarang sudah sama.

And gave me back my card and a copy of the sales receipt.
Kah kah kah.

Reminder for assignment

Yesterday in class I was discussing with the students about their first assignment. I also reminded them to come and see me at the office and show the progress of their work.

-I want you to show me a sample of your brochures by this week. You can show me the soft copy OR print it out in black and white first for me to see. After that you can print it out in colour using glossy paper.

Then I decided to rephrase everything I said ke nada yang lebih berbudi bahasa.

-I mean, I would like to see a soft OR hard copy of your brochure sample first before you print it out in colour using glossy paper.

Most of the students nodded. The one of them raised his hand.

Dalam hati saya berkata, aku dah agak dah. Mesti ada yang tak paham makna glossy ni. Atapun tak ingat apa option yang aku bagi tadi. Itu la masa aku bercakap kau sibuk nak bercakap jugak dengan kawan kau.

-Oui, monsieur, do have a question to ask?
-Yes madame. So...want or would like?

LOL. That was the perfect ending to my class. :D