Tuesday, August 23, 2016

The indefinite article

The class was full and everyone was listening to Madame describing about one particular part of speech in French. The Definite Article. Which was going to be introduced much later in the syllabus but since a student asked so some explanation was due.

Madame: In the French language, you have to identify first if the noun is masculine or feminine, singular or plural...then you can use the proper definite article that goes with the noun.

Etudiant #1: Ohhh...Madame definite article tu apa Madame?

Madame: Hmmm...it's like using "the" in English. When you want to refer to something in particular.

Etudiant #2: Oh...ok. But in French we must use masculine or feminine ye Madame?

Madame: Oui.

Etudiant #1: Madame boleh bagi example tak? I don't understand la.

Madame: Ok...like for example "a pen" is a masculine/singular noun, so if you want to say "the pen" in French, you say "LE stylo". (while writing on the white board, drawing tables and such using marker pens in different colours to better illustrate her point).

*quiet rumbling amongst the students...peer discussion is always a good thing*

Etudiant #3: Aahhh..Madame I have a teka-teki for you.

Madame: Ok...let's hear it. *aku dah agak dah*

Etudiant #3: Ok Madame....how do you say "the asthma" in French?

Madame: Errr...l'asthme?

Etudiant #3: No...LE LAH....


Engineering technology is the profession in which a knowledge of mathematics and natural sciences gained by higher education, experience, and practice is devoted primarily to the implementation and extension of existing technology for the benefit of humanity.

Hmmm...maybe they should include the knowledge of languages as well...my kids they are super special! :) :) :)

Monday, August 8, 2016

Telefon


Last Saturday I was with a few friends in a car going somewhere. Then one of my friends asked me to call a person and gave me the number.

Friend: 010 bla bla bla
Me: Kenapa henfon aku tak boleh tekan 0 ni? Jap bagi nombor tu balik.
Friend: 010 bla bla bla
Me: See? Tak boleh.

Then I realized something.

"Eh aku tekan nombor telipon kat dalam app calculator!"

Sekian.

Tudung


Minggu lepas saya beli beberapa helai tudung syria. Kalau beli 5 dapat harga promosi. Jadi saya pakat-pakat dengan seorang kawan. Untuk mendapatkan harga promosi tersebut, dia beli 1 saya beli 4. Bayar sekali.

Masa balik saya seludup masuk tudung-tudung tersebut secara senyap ke dalam rumah. Saya sorokkannya di "tempat special". Plan saya adalah mengeluarkan tudung-tudung dari tempat persembunyian setiap minggu satu.

The next day when I came home from work my Mom said to me: "Along tudung-tudung yang Along sorokkan tu Mama dah lipat simpan dalam almari.

Haih.

a) All mothers have built in lie/hanky-panky detectors.
b) Even at my age, I'm still trying to hide my shopping loot from my Mom.
c) Saya saspek Momoi yang bagitau mak saya lokasi "tempat special". Saya saspek je la. Tiada bukti kukuh.

Shooting star



- Mak Long look! A shooting star! Cantik kan tahi bintang ni?
- Eh? Jadi najis la kan? Sebab panggil tahi bintang?

*a moment of reflection*

- Yeah you're right Mak Long. Then we shouldn't be calling it a shooting star. We should be calling it a pooping star!

💩⭐️

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Aunty tinggi



Amir: Tingginya Aunty! Berapa umur Aunty?
Aunty Yati: 143 tahun.
Amir: Ohhh patut la. Dah tua!

Tajuk karangan

🌸 Mak Long boleh tak bagi idea untuk tajuk karangan? Aina nak tulis pasal model.
🌻 Boleh boleh. Err..."Peragawati yang terkenal"?
🌸 Mmmmm...no.
🌻 "Aku seorang top model"?
🌸 Mmmmm...tak best lah.
🌻 "Hidupku di catwalk"? "Glamor seorang peragawati"? "Kembara peragawati pekan kecil"?
🌸 Alaaaa...tak berapa kena. Tak pe lah Aina tulis karangan "Sekolah Berhantu".

Grrrrrrrrr.

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Taklimat Pendaftaran Tingkatan 1

Today is my niece's registration for Form 1 at her new school. From 8-30am-10.30am all the parents are seated in the Hall to listen to 4 taklimats: from the HM, the penolong kanan HEA, the penolong kanan HEP and the penolong kanan for the afternoon session.

Halfway through the second taklimat, my mind started wandering. The Hal Ehwal Akademik teacher was explaining about sistem PBS, KBAT, Nilam, PT3, pentaksiran sumatif/formatif etc etc etc. His voice started to sound more and more distant. My eyes started to lose focus and my head started to bobble right and left as sleep took over.

Then the lady seated on my left tapped me on the shoulder and asked softly: "Cikgu tu dok cakap pasal Lembaga Peperiksaan. Lembaga Peperiksaan apa?"

I told her, "Hantu Peperiksaan tu."

She stared at me for at least 15 seconds and smiled.

"You ngantuk eh. Bertabahlah ye ada 2 taklimat lagi."

Ya! Bertabah! And my glassy eyes started to focus on the slides again.