Friday, July 9, 2010

Hot or cold?

One day I had this conversation with my niece about her new topic of interest: living in the Antartica. She'd been reading or more likely looking at pictures of creatures of the sea and was convinced that the South Pole was the ideal place to be. And since she was going to be staying in the cold, she wanted to be a walrus as well. It was okay to be a walrus even if it meant putting on a lot of weight and having difficulty moving and limited personal space around you when thousands of your own species are all hanging around on the same beach or piece of land at the same time. Not to mention having those long tusks to keep and maintain. Susahnya untuk menyebut huruf-huruf vokal dan berkomunikasi dengan kehadiran taring yang panjangnya hingga ke dada.

-Aina tau tak berapa banyak nak kena spend nanti untuk beli Colgate kalau Aina jadi walrus? Gigi dia panjang tau.
-Mak Long, those are not teeth. Itu tusks. I can just clean it with a brush and water.

OK. Mental note #1: Do some research on a walrus' dental/tusk hygiene.

After that short but intellectual conversation, we went to the petrol station nearby to buy newspaper. She followed me into the mart. I noticed her wrinkling her eyebrows but didn't ask her what was wrong.

Later, in the car on the way home, she told me, "It was so freezing cold in the kedai just now Mak Long. You know what, I don't think I want to go to Antartica if it's so cold like that. I think I want to go to Africa now. And live in the Safari."

Errrr. OK. Mental note #2: Look up on the dental/tusk hygiene of an elephant instead of a walrus now. That's also another one of her favorite animals.

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Puntianak dan serigala

Yesterday I went to the movies for the first time in ages. One of my girlfriends bought us tickets to go see Eclipse from the Twilight saga. To the uninitiated (read: uninterested) like me, it's actually a modern day vampire story. If you read the printed version, I think there are already 4 volumes, and counting.

Eclipse is the third installment of the movie trilogy. But not the last, I heard cos they're making the fourth one. So I shouldn't be calling it a trilogy. I didn't watch the first and second. But still could understand the whole concept of ''female mortal human trapped between making the decision of choosing who she wants to be with: to get married to a vampire and be one of them or remain her physical self thus saving her soul but instead confess her love to a werewolf aka a male Native American shapeshifter''. If this girl was one of my students I'd only have one advice for her: "Ko kenapa tak sudah-sudah carik pasal?''

Well to cut the crap short I found the movie rather slow-moving. I was so anticipating the fighting scenes to alleviate the boredom of listening to corny lines and cliche dialogues. Allow me to illustrate my point with some:
-Doesn't he own a shirt? (asks Edward the vampire to Bella the confused human girl about Jacob)
-Let's face it. I'm hotter than you. (replies Jacob the werewolf to the vampire)
-You're quite adorable when you're jealous.
-I promise to love you till my last breath (or something to that effect)
-Feel it, Bella. Flesh and blood...Warmth....
-I know you love me. You just don't want to admit it.

Maybe it's age. Maybe it's mid-life crisis. But I just don't get the ''brooding romance'' and ''gothic chills''. Black is not my favourite colour. Heck it's not even a colour. It's a non-coulour.

If I was Bella, I'd be having these issues:
1)die standing out of the boredom from everyday monotonous conversation totally devoid of any emotion whatsoever.
2)vow to change the Volturi (the so-called overseer aka Vatican clan in the vampire community) wardrobe from black to pink
3)always fight with Edward over use of lipstick cos he needs to look less pale and not arouse suspicion regarding his whitewash face.
4)but in the end choose Jacob the werewolf because every man in his house goes permanently shirtless and have six-packs and tattoos. And if they die the fur would make nice coats and rugs.

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