Friday, September 23, 2011

Baked seafood

Last night my niece came up to me and offered a plate of baked seafood. She had arranged some fridge magnets on a small square board and pretended that they were real seafood. There was a starfish, a fish, a duck, a whale and a few others.

-Here. Come on Mak Long. Have one. Nobody in my land wants to eat my baked seafood.
-Oh dear. Really? What's your land called?
-Aina Land.
-And who are in your land?
-Just my old toys. They don't want my baked seafood because they prefer nasi goreng kampung.
-OK. But I'm allergic to seafood. I don't want any rashes breaking out on my face and body if I eat them.
-Oh no problem Mak Long. Here have a bug.

And she handed me a fridge magnet in the shape of a moth. Ada pulak tu.

So last night I had a baked bug for dinner. Tapi kecik sangat. Tak kenyang. So I still had to go downstairs later for some maggi tom yam with my family.

Thursday, September 22, 2011


Yesterday I had a chat with one of my students. He told me a joke he heard from a friend. He liked it so much that he told almost everybody in class, me included.

-Madame when he story me I so funny. My eye water drop cannot stop.
-Owh. Eye water tu apa?
-Laaa madame. Ayaq mata la.
-Owh. Jadi kalau mata air nak panggil apa dalam bahasa Inggeris?
-Heheheh. Panggil marka. Ok bye madame!

As he was leaving I heard him telling his friend, "Hang tengok la madame cuba nak perangkap aku. Ingat aku tak tau ka?"

Monday, September 19, 2011

Anatomy 101 (pre-school edition)

Just now I made a short visit to the bank and bumped into a friend and her chatty son .One thing that I have come to realize is that this boy has somehow developped his linguistic skills far beyond his tender age. "Motormouth" doesn't even begin to describe him. My chatterbox niece pales in comparison.

And when you're in a bank waiting for your turn, the last thing you want is to have a kid bugging you with questions all the time. And loudly.

But he's super cute and adorable and he sat smack right next to me so what little hope I had for some peace and quiet was dashed anyway. Might as well yak with him.

So we chatted while his mommy played on her iPhone (grrr...) and he then told me that he wanted to grow up to be a big boy. Because he likes to play askar-askar. But sometimes he doesn't mind playing masak-masak as well.

-So when I play masak-masak kan auntie, I pretend to be a girl.
-Oh I see. So what's the difference between a girl and a boy?

He looked at me with a look that says "Don't tell me you don't know the answer to that question? Nak kata muda kalau masuk larian terbuka wanita dah kategori veteran dah."

-Girls are smaller than boys. And boys *pandang ke kiri dan ke kanan* ada birdy. Girls *whispers* ada flower.
-Ahhh. But you know sweetie, I'm taller than most boys I know.
-Yeahhh! I know! Auntie ada dua-dua. Birdy ada flower pun ada!

So you see ladies and gentlemen, in a split second my existence has been reduced to that of a hermaphroditic Gastropod.

And I left the bank 10 minutes later, leaving behind a trail of thick viscous slime.