Thursday, April 7, 2011

The blind date turned deaf and mute

OK here's another weird story. This week will be a week of freakish blog postings. This story is a bit longer than my usual two or three paragraphs of rambling so please bear with me.

A month ago a few of my friends invited me out for dinner, during which they introduced me to a guy and left us to "enjoy" the rest of the evening together. Kira macam blind date la.

The next day this guy told my matchmaking friends that he doesn't want to go on a second date with me anymore because he thinks I am not funny.


Well anyway a few weeks later the same guy texted me to ask me out. I said no. He insisted. I told him to stop harassing me. He still continued texting me. He even said that I would be lucky if someone would ask me out because quote: "you tu dah tua". Unquote.

I informed my matchmaking friends about this. They dealt with it. A few days later nightmare guy sms-ed me to apologize.

But he still asked me out.

Some of my friends gave me a few tips on how to get rid of Mr Blind Date From Hell.
a) Look for his car and spray paint BACK OFF in pink.
b) Ask him to take you out to the most expensive restaurant and then at the end of the meal tell him you're a lesbian.
c) Go make a police report and get a restraining order.

I didn't do any of the above.

Then a few days ago, I was having a meal with a girlfriend and we were discussing about this ordeal and were weighing the three options when Whoosh! out of nowhere Mr BDFH appeared and walked in front of us. He saw us at our table and headed straight towards us, smiling and saying hello. And asked me out again.

Then my girlfriend unexpectedly pulled me to her, looked at him straight in the eye and told him to back off. "She's my girl.", katanya. And planted one big kiss on my cheek.

Mr BDFH looked at us in disgust, geleng kepala, and left.

His last parting sms informed me that he never wanted to see me again. That I was anyway too tall and not pretty.

Saya pun lepas tu geleng kepala. It felt strange being kissed on a cheek by a 150cm girl who claimed to be my boyfriend.

It almost felt like dating a midget.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The funniest joke on earth

What happens when the person who most probably hates you the most in this whole wide world decides to send a request to be "friends" with you on Facebook?

You stare at the screen for a while, try to figure out the rationale and when you come to realize that there is none, you just laugh your ass off.

Paranoia is an ugly disease. It plays evil tricks on your mind. It can make a person do many stupid things.

I have long moved on. I suggest you do the same.