Friday, November 7, 2014

It's a strange world

This morning on my way to work I stopped by a convenience store to top up my T&G card. The store is the one that opens 24 hours and whose name starts with the number (5+2=?) and followed by a hyphen and ends with the number after 10 but spelled out. Haaaa sudah dapat? Bagus.

The boy at the cashier looked bored right out of his skull. Most probably he was impatient to wait for his shift to end. The girl who just came in to replace him also wasn't smiling and put on the most sour face that a person can possibly have. I smiled and said hi to her. She totally ignored me. I asked her kenapa masam sangat dik pagi-pagi ni? She denied and told me mana ada! So I took a bottle of soya bean out from the big fridge and put it right beside her at the counter. At the end of 5 minutes, it curdled and changed into tofu. I showed it to her. Just to prove my point. She didn't find it amusing. At all. Not only does she lack zygomatic muscles, she also doesn't share my sense of humour. Oh well.

After topping up my toll card, I went to my car and found a big black cat waiting for me at the car. He beckoned me near and informed me of my clothing mishap. Kenapa? Zip kain terbukak ke? Si hitam berbulu menunjuk ke arah lengan baju kurung saya. Lengan kiri. Saya tengok dekat-dekat. Ada macam kesan tompok bulat. That got me perplexed. Saya belum pun makan sarapan lagi. Kucing hitam datang menghampiri dan mencium lengan baju kurung saya. Hmmm...snif sniff....hmmm...smells like tofu katanya.

And from the corner of my eye I saw that cashier girl with the sour face snickering from inside the shop.


Thursday, November 6, 2014

Episodic memory

When I was 12 years old I had a crush on the private detective in Magnum PI. I thought he looked absolutely dashing in a red sports car chasing the bad guys all over town. Al-maklumlah zaman tu bebudak lelaki di dalam bilik darjah kan semua muka berminyak dan berbau kepam apatah lagi selepas waktu rehat.

The actor in the series was Tom Selleck.

Fast forward 10 years to 2014.
*polite cough* I may have discounted a few years here. But please bear with me. I need my moments of self-denial.

Nowadays my favorite TV series on Astro? Blue Bloods.
Francis "Frank" Reagan is the Police Commissioner of New York. He was a U.S. Marine Corps officer and a Vietnam veteran before he joined the NYPD. He is a widower whose son Joe died in the line of duty, leaving him three remaining adult children—Danny, Erin, and Jamie.

Tinggi, hensem, mamat serius tapi kool, ada misai. Cip polis.

Otai tak otai?

I think he is the embodiment of perfect masculinity. He should replace that idiotic-looking Ken. And have me as the Barbie doll. Of course. The perfect couple. Dua-dua (Abang Tom dan saya) ronda-ronda keliling Pulau Hawaii petang-petang naik Ferrari 308 GTB kami. Kadang-kadang Abang Tom bagi saya drive. Tapi dia akan nasihat suruh saya drive slow-slow. Sebab saya kan tak biasa bawak left-hand drive ni. Tapi apa barang bawak kereta sukan (read: sports car) pada kelajuan 80km/jam kan?

Oops. That was my Magnum PI fantasy.
Back to the present.

The character Francis Reagan is played by Tom Selleck.

Eh. Tom Selleck LAGI.

I see a recurring pattern here.

Adakah mungkin kerana sekarang saya terpaksa berhadapan dengan sebilangan pelajar yang datang ke kuliah memakai jaket MFI yang berbulan tak basuh dan berbau kepam? Maka saya perlukan sedikit escapism? In the form of my childhood fantasy? Episodic memory?

Siapa nak naik Ferrari tu dengan saya sila PM. Tapi kena amek nombor ok. Dah ramai yang beratur tunggu turn.