Masa puasa boleh cerita pasal telur tak?

Di satu awal pagi yang hening, setelah selesai bersahur, saya dan anak buah saya berehat-rehat di atas sofa. Bak kata bapak saya "melenggang perut" sambil menikmati Nescafe dan kuih tat restoran Santai yang sungguh sedap itu. Saya seorang sahaja yang minum Nescafe; anak buah saya hanya duduk di atas riba saya dan melayan saya berborak. Pada waktu yang sama keempat-empat kucing kami juga bergelimpangan di sudut kegemaran masing-masing di ruang tamu.

One of the cats that we have is a mixed breed. Half Persian and half local. His name is Momoi. He is a handsome semi long-haired ginger cat yang berhidung mancung (as opposed to the hidung penyets of the true Persian breed). I want the long fur and body of a Persian but without the having to go through the hassle of cleaning the nose and eyes every day). To get a bit of the pedigree qualities but adapting it to the local preferences. Bukankah itu sebahagian daripada ciri-ciri konsep "glokal" yang sering diwar-warkan oleh DSNTR?

So as we were happily chatting away and munching on the delicious tarts, we watched Momoi cleaning himself. He had his back to us, sitting on the floor and licking his paws. My niece looked at him at laughed.

-Kenapa Aina gelak?
-Tengok la Momoi tu. Comel sangat. Dari sini nampak dia macam telur.
-Ohhh. OK. Ya la from here he looks like one.
-Heheheh funny la Momoi ni. Kadang-kadang macam karipap, kadang-kadang macam telur.
-Aina sayang tak Momoi?
-Sayang sangat. Look Mak Long. He's so funny. Macam telur berbulu.

Then she asked me the million dollar question:

-Sebelum ni Mak Long pernah tak tengok telur berbulu?

*gulp*

Tifa Lolobrigida

Yesterday on the way back home I stopped by a fast food restaurant to buy their combo meal (of chicken and prawn) as I suddenly had a craving for greasy fried chicken. There was one at the Petronas petrol station in Taman Tun. Which now actually accommodates a fast food restaurant, a sandwich shop, a laundry shop and the post office. Complete with basement parking. No wonder they were closed for nearly a year for renovation work.

While I was queuing up to get my order, the lady behind me was discussing about her pet and showing some cat pictures that she had in her handphone to her friend. I looked at them and smiled, hoping to be included in the conversation as well, as I was really curious to see how her cat looked like. Then we started chatting (it was a long queue). I told her one of my cat's name was Tina.

-Saya ada banyak kucing. Satu tu nama dia Tina.
-Waaa...like my cat one..tapi dia punya nama ada sikit lain. Tifa.
-Owh. Macam nama perempuan jugak.
-Ya ka. No laaa. English name wor.
-Ohhh...like Tiffany?
-No no. Like Tifa la. You know Mariah? Whitney? Tifa? Tifa?

*Yati shows a blank face*

-Haiya. You got Tancing Queen. You got Tama Queen. So you got Tifa oso la.

Tancing and Tifa. The perfect combo. but if got Tama ha, a bit tifficur wor.


Tip: Replace the "t" with a "d" and the "f" with a "v".

Pintu

My office is quite a spacious workspace area divided into 8 cubicles with low partitions. It's nice and quiet in here (because the other lecturers in this office are peace-loving people, they don't like to create much noise-mungkin sebab mereka semua pensyarah Air-Conditioning and Refrigeration kot, sentiasa cool dan senyap). Not to mention that we have the best view outside. There are two doors that open to our office.

Yesterday afternoon I was alone in the office. One student entered through the front door and asked if Mr X was around. I told him that the lecturer he was looking for probably had class and asked him to see if he was in the classroom next door. He said thank you and left.

Then he knocked at the back door of the office and entered. He came up to me and said, "Puan tadi saya cari En X kat ofis dia. Saya tanya ada satu madam tu pastu dia suruh saya gi bilik sebelah. Tapi saya tak jumpa la Puan."

I looked at myself in the mirror that I had on my desk. Dalam masa setengah minit dari saat pelajar tersebut keluar dari ofis saya mengikut pintu depan dan masuk ke dalam semula mengikut pintu belakang tidak pula terjadi apa-apa mutasi genetik ketara yang menyebabkan saya berubah rupa. Saya tengok muka Jawa saya tetap remain Jawa.

Dan dalam hati saya bertanya siapalah kutu yang telah membuka pintu belakang ofis kami. Selalunya kami memang pastikan ia berkunci. Untuk tidak mengelirukan golongan mudah tertipu seperti pelajar yang sedang berdiri semula di hadapan saya ketika itu.

Ini mesti kutu Air-cond ni.

Sabar itu separuh dari iman...so what's the other half?

For my French course the students need to print out on their own their course notes, grammar notes and exercise sheets that the lecturers have uploaded to the institute's e-learning portal. So from Week 1 I've informed all my students to do so as I would not be photocopying any for them.

Last week was already week 4. And some of the students still had not done so. In one of the classes more than half of them still came to class empty handed. So Madame Yati had to deliver her free lectures #54 and #55 entitled "Korang kalau nak belajar buat cara nak belajar kalau tak jangan buang masa aku" and "Jangan buang duit RM500 untuk bayaran 2 jam kredit dengan hanya duduk menganga". Dah nama pun lecturer kan?

So after several minutes of ear bombarding I just stood in front of them and asked them what they wanted to do then since they had no notes to work with and I was so annoyed with their lackadaisical attitude.

Everybody had made the wise decision to keep quiet except for one student who sat right in front of the class who meekly came up with a suggestion. Tapi masa cakap tu pun tunduk. Suara pun perlahan aje. Sebab takut kena libas.

....."Anger management therapy?"

So how can you not like teaching this bunch of students?

Cepat? Lambat?

Every year during the fasting month I will face the same problem. What time do I need to leave the office in Bangi in order to arrive home on time for berbuka without having to go through the massive traffic jam of the grand exodus? Suddenly the whole of the Klang Valley (or so it seems like it) wants to buy their ayam percik and kuih pelita at the Taman Tun Dr Ismail Ramadhan bazaar. Leceh betul.

Last week I tried leaving at 5pm. I reached the TTDI toll at the SPRINT highway at around 5.30pm. And guess what? It took me 1.5hours to reach the traffic lights at the TTDI Pizza Hut. If it wasn't the puasa month now I would've probably continued this entry with use of expletives such as WTH or WTF to emphasize on my extreme frustration of having to endure 90 minutes of bumper-to-bumper traffic when during a normal day it would've just taken me 10 minutes or less. Terima kasih DBKL kerana telah mengepung kawasan bazaar ramadhan TTDI yang telah menyebabkan kesesakan lalulintas melampau kerana trafik dari jalan besar tidak dapat memasuki kawasan Taman Tun dan kereta-kereta dari bazaar ramadhan pula yang penuh sarat dengan sate, popiah basah, murtabak daging, kuih tako, roti john, air tebu, nasi tomato, laksa Perlis dan tidak dilupakan kambing golek seekor tidak dapat keluar dari kawasan bazaar.

So there are only two options left for me. The first one is that I go back really early, as in before 4pm, or go home late. Maybe at 6.30. And hope that the roads would be clear by that time. Whatever it is, yang penting ialah stok bekalan buah kurma yang perlu sentiasa ada di dalam kereta. Dan air kotak Ribena.

Banggali! Banggali!

A few days ago I went to one of the hypermarkets near my house for some pre-Ramadhan grocery shopping. Well the only extra item that I had to buy was the F&N Rose Syrup. According to my Mum's grocery list, it HAD to be F&N. Cap lain tak boleh.

While I was at the meat section, I saw a group of foreign workers looking at someone and talking or arguing with each other. I couldn't really tell what the topic was about as I don't speak Bangladeshi. But everytime they spoke, terkeluar perkataan "banggali". Cakap-cakap sikit ..."banggali"... cakap-cakap lagi ..."banggali"... angguk-angguk-geleng-geleng ..."banggali" ...

So I looked around and saw that they were looking at a very pretty girl in her mid 30s. Whom actually as I looked closer was a friend of mine. She had Pakistani blood. Cantik la. So I went over to say hello to her and tell her what I overheard. She was just amused and said that it was normal for people to mistake her for a an Indian girl.

Tup-tap-tup-tap I heard those men talking again. But this time looking at me. And in the conversation I heard them saying "Tinggi! Tinggi!".

My friend looked at me and said, "Padan muka kau. Ni turn kau pulak kena."

Selamat menyambut Ramadhan yang mulia

Semasa saya bersekolah asrama di Kg Kongo nun jauh di benua Afrika sana, kedatangan bulan Ramadhan amat dinantikan dengan penuh rasa gembira. Disamping dapat menunaikan solat terawikh bersama rakan-rakan yang lain dan menghadiri ceramah dan tadarus, bulan puasa juga merupakan bulan di mana kami boleh tidur lebih panjang pada waktu tengahari sebelum prep petang dan semasa main petang. Kalau siapa yang larat tu boleh lah bersukan. Tapi saya tidaklah seperti mereka. Saya lebih cenderung kepada prinsip "Conservation of Energy". Tidur, baring, atau melakukan aktiviti yang tidak memerlukan banyak pergerakan. Apa lagi hendak dibuat? Nak skodeng abang ragbi pun dah tak boleh. Kena jaga mata wo. Tak boleh pandang yang bukan-bukan masa bulan puasa ni.

Akan tetapi yang paling penting sekali semasa bulan Ramadhan adalah menu di Dewan Makan yang lebih istimewa sedikit dari hari-hari biasa. Ada sedikit kelainan. Bukan sekadar makan nasi putih dan lauk dan minum air suam sahaja. Ada kuih. Ada air minuman yang berwarna dan berperisa. Kadang-kadang ada aiskrim.

Pada suatu petang kami semua seperti biasa duduk di meja di Dewan Makan sementara menunggu azan maghrib untuk berbuka. Lauk di atas tray besi kelihatan sungguh menyelerakan. Air pula berwarna pink.

Apabila azan berkumandang kami pun tanpa pandang kiri kanan menogok air dari cawan plastik biru. Hmmm. Lain pulak rasanya air hari ini. Minggu lepas pun ada dihidangkan air pink ini. Tapi rasanya sedap. Kenapa hari ini ada rasa Dettol?

Bila saya amati betul-betul saya lihat ada satu ketulan berwarna coklat di dasar cawan. Saya kuis-kuis dengan jari. Rupa-rupanya makcik Dewan Makan telah tertinggal plaster terpakainya di dalam cawan saya. Padan lah rasa berubat.

Sejak dari hari itu saya cukup fobia dengan air pink yang bersirap dan bersusu lemak manis.