Do I know you?

In my bid to reignite my passion and interest for exercising (I have lately taken an extreme liking to lying horizontal with one hand holding the remote control while watching back-to-back series of NCIS and Criminal Minds, no thanks to ch 710) I finally took the final leap and stepped into the gym for the first time in many donkey years. A lot has changed: a complete turn-over of staff, a slight facelift in the decor and new instructors. But alas, less dance classes. Tapi tak apa lah. The fact that I have managed to drag myself into the gym after so long pun deserves a giant pat on the back *uhuk uhuk tersedak jangan la tepuk belakang aku kuat sangat*

After my work-out, at the towel counter to collect my gym card before leaving, I stood beside this cute Chinese looking guy (bermata sepet), waiting patiently to hand over my used towels. He was busy asking questions about his new membership and entah apa-apa lah lagi. I wasn't interested to know because I was quite annoyed with him for taking up too much time and there was only one boy manning the counter (notice the gender bias in the English language with the verb "to man"...is it proper to say a girl manning the counter?)

So I just looked at him with the hope that if he noticed me staring at him he'd shut up and leave.

But instead he looked at me and said, "Hai. Kenal saya?"

And I'm like whoa! ini sudah nak kena go into overdrive ni. 15 tahun punya student database nak kena retrieve bukan senang wo. But to save face I smiled back and say, "Apa khabar?"

He replied, "Khabar baik. Rajin pergi gym ya?"

"Tak rajin lah. Baru nak mula balik. How's work?"

"Good. Boleh la cari makan heheheh."

"Oh OK bagus lah. You dulu course apa ye? I can't seem to recall your face. I'm sorry. I teach so many students."

"Errr...no...you tak pernah ajar saya rasanya..."

"Habis tu kenapa tanya saya kenal awak ke tak?" *in full Cikgu mode*

"Saje la. OK lah saya balik dulu."

And he walked away. And I was left there wondering and confused.

I looked at the towel boy and shrugged my shoulders. He looked at me and laughed.

"Hai akak tak kenal ke? Dia tu kan pelakon drama kat Astro tu? Si polan tu la!"

I use the word polan because even when the boy told me the actor's name it didn't ring a bell and by the time I reached my car outside I'd totally forgotten about it.

Kepada aktor drama bersiri tersebut, saya meminta maaf kerana tidak mengenali anda ketika anda bertanya kepada saya soalan cepumas itu. Please understand. I am just a teacher living in my own little delusional world of teacherdom. If you are a young adult male aged 18-23, you fit right into my student category. You smile at me and I will automatically start thinking: Diploma? Bachelor? Welding? Metal Fabrication? Automotive? Air Conditioning?

I have to start accepting the fact that not every young man wears the green or blue MFI jacket and safety boots. Some are actors. Others work in the gym. The rest either jual VCD at the pasar malam or participate in lumba haram.

Such a bleak outlook towards the youth of today. Can I blame this bad mood on PMS?

My pudgy fingers need time to type

After two weeks of total wipe-out from the blogging world, I have finally resuscitated attempts to at least type out a line or two. But 14 days of intensive sugar/fat/carbo-loading has left my brain quite befuddled. Nak mengeja ''resuscitate'' tu pun aku kena check dengan abang Wiki. But nevertheless I have started to come out of this fuzziness and begin to think that maybe just maybe if I started moving around a bit my brains would actually follow suit and function in full action mode. Dan lagipun kawasan tompokan selulit semakin menular memenuhi seluruh peha dan jika dibiarkan tompokan-tompokan jahat ini akan mengambilalih setiap inci lapisan epidermis ku.

So as a big leap towards self-motivation for physical activities I accompanied my girlfriend to her Muayfit session. Ikut dulu, nanti minggu depan saya pun buatlah. Kumpul semangat ni! And maybe when classes begin next week I might have the courage to stay away from the evil fat and call leafy greens and veggies my best friends.

But as I told my girlfriend during our lunch at KLCC after her work-out session, it's hard to ignore your celullite cells calling out to you for help when you decide to eat sensibly and healthily and include more fibre in your diet.

''Feed me! Feed me! I'm starving here. I need more fat!''. Itulah kata-kata yang sering dilaungkan mereka kepada saya. All these little voices running around in my head, playing havoc with my fitness plans.

And thus I finish the last remaining Portobello mushroom filled rosemary ravioli on my plate and enthuse to my friend, ''Sedap betul dia punya garlic cream sauce kan?''

Salam Aidilfitri buat semua

Bila takbir raya bergema
Hari kemenangan umat berpuasa
Genangan airmata mengusik jiwa
Sepuluh jari saya hulurkan
Ampun maaf dipinta
Selamat hari raya

Andai Ramadan dapat ku tahan
Ingin sekali ku pohon lanjutan
Rasa tak cukup ampunan mu Tuhan
Buat diriku yang tandus amalan
Namun Syawal tanda kemenangan
Rahmat Ya Rabbi untuk setiap insan
Justeru ayuh kita raikan
Dengan doa dan kesyukuran

Turtle Power

Semalam, sempena mengambil kesempatan cuti Hari Kebangsaan, kami sekeluarga telah mengambil keputusan untuk "memerdekakan" Agus, kura-kura air kami yang sudah kami pelihara lebih dari setahun. Kami merasakan yang sudah tiba masanya Agus dilepaskan ke persekitaran yang lebih menyerupai habitat semulajadinya dan kolam di taman berhadapan kompleks membeli-belah One Utama telah dikenalpasti sebagai kawasan sasaran. Kami pun prihatin juga akan kehendak dan kemahuannya. Kalau dia bosan lepak dalam kolam, dia boleh melepak minum espresso doppio di Starbucks.

Ekspedisi ini telah dianggotai 6 orang: ibu saya, adik saya, kawan adik saya, adik ipar saya dan anak buah saya. Dan Agus juga jangan lupa. Misi berlangsung selepas berbuka puasa untuk meminimalisasikan faktor gangguan lain seperti orangramai yang lalu-lalang yang kepochi dan pegawai sekuriti yang mungkin akan mengesyakki yang kami cuba mencuri kura-kura yang sedia ada di dalam kolam 1U itu.

So, on to the real story (with all the info and statistical data provided by a trusted source, my mom)

At first they went to the 1U park to release Agus there but later found out that he wouldn't have a great social life there as all they could see was a baby land turtle hanging around by the the pond. So there was a change of plan and they headed to the Kiara Park where there was one pond that is filled with Agus' peeps. He'd surely be happy swimming around all the other male and female water turtles, and finally have the chance to sample different culinary delights other than the turtle pellets that we feed him every single day from the first day we brought him home. Sometimes the people who come to this park will feed them bread, kangkung, or if they are really lucky burger left-overs. Nah, just kidding. About the bread and kangkung.

So when they arrived there, my brother slowly released him into the pond. Oh I forgot to mention that to honour and remember Agus, we've painted a giant yellow A on his back. With hindsight I think we should've painted A|X instead. Baru nampak macam pakai designer combat t-shirt.

By this time my niece had started to cry. She had opposed this mission from the very beginning, citing ill-treatment and cruelty to domestic animals as the main reason.

Agus slowly waddled into the pond, berenang ke sana ke mari sambil high-five dengan semua yang ada di sekelilingnya. Then he swam back to them and put his head up to stare at my brother. Then he went back to the middle of the pool. But still came back to where my family was waiting. And looked up expectantly. Almost as if he was waiting for his food to be fed to him. Literally, I mean. My dad would patiently feed him the pellets every day. I think he is the "most overly fed and fat but hides it well under the shell" pet water turtle in Taman Tun.

And he kept waiting. His head above the water looking at them. By this time my niece was bawling her eyes out. My brother started crying. My mom jangan cerita la. Tengok iklan ibu dan anak pun boleh nangis. Pendek kata semua yang hadir sedih lah melihat kesayuan di mata Agus. Mungkin dia tahu kenapa dia di letakkan di situ dan mahu merayu meminta jangan dilepaskan. But they had to do what they had to do.

So they turned back and left.



One by one.



With Agus along with them.


I now seriously think that Agus is the fifth unknown Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle member. While the rest have great physical strength, Agus is the one with the mind-bending power. Dia telah berjaya mensaikokan empat orang dewasa dan seorang kanak-kanak untuk percaya yang tempat yang lebih elok untuknya adalah di dalam rumah dan teman-teman sepermainan yang dia perlukan adalah empat ekor kucing dan seekor ikan puyu dan bukan bersama rakan-rakan yang sama spesis dengannya di luar sana. Lagipun nanti kalau hujan boleh pening kepala. Jangan main-main dengan hujan asid ni.

Agus is now happily reunited with his good ole tub at home. When he gets bored, he stares out through the translucent plastic and watch the kittens play.

And from this moment on I shall call him Agustino, the fifth TNMT member alongside Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Rapahael et Donatello. Super A for short.

Esok cuti!

-Murid-murid semua sudah hafal lagu Sudirman tu?
-Sudah cikgu.
-Baiklah, kita mulakan latihan. Three, four...
-Tanggal....tiga puluh satuuu...bulan lapan....lima puluh tujuuuuh...
-Errr...cikgu?
-Ya Amran?
-Mak saya cakap siang-siang hari tak boleh bukak baju nanti perut masuk tungau.
-Bila cikgu suruh awak bukak baju?
-Tu cikgu kata tanggal?

OK OK lousy joke. But anyway "Selamat Menyambut Hari Kemerdekaan Malaysia Yang Ke 53"!

Masa puasa boleh cerita pasal telur tak?

Di satu awal pagi yang hening, setelah selesai bersahur, saya dan anak buah saya berehat-rehat di atas sofa. Bak kata bapak saya "melenggang perut" sambil menikmati Nescafe dan kuih tat restoran Santai yang sungguh sedap itu. Saya seorang sahaja yang minum Nescafe; anak buah saya hanya duduk di atas riba saya dan melayan saya berborak. Pada waktu yang sama keempat-empat kucing kami juga bergelimpangan di sudut kegemaran masing-masing di ruang tamu.

One of the cats that we have is a mixed breed. Half Persian and half local. His name is Momoi. He is a handsome semi long-haired ginger cat yang berhidung mancung (as opposed to the hidung penyets of the true Persian breed). I want the long fur and body of a Persian but without the having to go through the hassle of cleaning the nose and eyes every day). To get a bit of the pedigree qualities but adapting it to the local preferences. Bukankah itu sebahagian daripada ciri-ciri konsep "glokal" yang sering diwar-warkan oleh DSNTR?

So as we were happily chatting away and munching on the delicious tarts, we watched Momoi cleaning himself. He had his back to us, sitting on the floor and licking his paws. My niece looked at him at laughed.

-Kenapa Aina gelak?
-Tengok la Momoi tu. Comel sangat. Dari sini nampak dia macam telur.
-Ohhh. OK. Ya la from here he looks like one.
-Heheheh funny la Momoi ni. Kadang-kadang macam karipap, kadang-kadang macam telur.
-Aina sayang tak Momoi?
-Sayang sangat. Look Mak Long. He's so funny. Macam telur berbulu.

Then she asked me the million dollar question:

-Sebelum ni Mak Long pernah tak tengok telur berbulu?

*gulp*

Tifa Lolobrigida

Yesterday on the way back home I stopped by a fast food restaurant to buy their combo meal (of chicken and prawn) as I suddenly had a craving for greasy fried chicken. There was one at the Petronas petrol station in Taman Tun. Which now actually accommodates a fast food restaurant, a sandwich shop, a laundry shop and the post office. Complete with basement parking. No wonder they were closed for nearly a year for renovation work.

While I was queuing up to get my order, the lady behind me was discussing about her pet and showing some cat pictures that she had in her handphone to her friend. I looked at them and smiled, hoping to be included in the conversation as well, as I was really curious to see how her cat looked like. Then we started chatting (it was a long queue). I told her one of my cat's name was Tina.

-Saya ada banyak kucing. Satu tu nama dia Tina.
-Waaa...like my cat one..tapi dia punya nama ada sikit lain. Tifa.
-Owh. Macam nama perempuan jugak.
-Ya ka. No laaa. English name wor.
-Ohhh...like Tiffany?
-No no. Like Tifa la. You know Mariah? Whitney? Tifa? Tifa?

*Yati shows a blank face*

-Haiya. You got Tancing Queen. You got Tama Queen. So you got Tifa oso la.

Tancing and Tifa. The perfect combo. but if got Tama ha, a bit tifficur wor.


Tip: Replace the "t" with a "d" and the "f" with a "v".