Jangan

Pagi tadi dalam perjalanan ke tempat kerja saya singgah sebentar di stesen minyak yang terletak bersebelahan dengan hotel Mint (yang sebenarnya sudah bertukar nama tapi saya tidak ingat nama barunya)

Kedatangan saya telah disambut oleh seorang atendan pam yang sugguh ceria. Dia tersenyum dan bertanya khabar dan bersedia menolong saya meleret kad ke dalam mesin pam minyak dan mengisikan petrol ke dalam tangki kereta saya.

Beberapa ketika kemudian telefon bimbit saya yang terletak di atas dashboard kereta saya berbunyi. Saya masuk ke dalam kereta untuk menyimpan telefon.

-Kakkk! Jangan kak. Bahaya. Nanti meletup!
Saya pun meletakkan telefon bimbit saya kembali ke dalam beg tangan. Memang itulah pun apa yang saya hendak lakukan.

Beberapa saat selepas itu saya mendengar satu bunyi letupan yang sungguh berdesibel tinggi.
-PROOOTTTT!!

Saya pandang ke arah budak itu. Dia tersengih.
-Kau kentut ye? Kuatnya sampai ke Bangi tau orang semua boleh dengar!
-Sebab itulah saya cakap jangan jawab telepon akak tu. Nanti lagi cepat meletup tangki ni. Terlebih gas!

Saya pun terfikir: Budak ni dulu belajar kat MFI ke? Loyar buruk semacam je dengan aku? :))

Beli rumah

Today I went to the bank to submit my application for a personal loan. After having my housing loan application rejected at four other banks (mereka sedikit tidak pandang walaupun sebelah mata permohononan pinjaman perumahan yang jumlahnya kurang dari RM50 000), I have succumbed to pressure and have finally accepted that it's hard to beat the system, no matter how cruel and unfair you might think it is. All they want is to extract the maximum from you. Ada letak "Islam" pada nama bank pun sama sahaja dengan yang lain. Sungguh tidak menolong.

But, well, anyway, on a positive note, God willing, in a few months' time, I will be the proud owner of a small flat I can call home. And since deadline to get married and have my wedding sponsored is looming near, too near in fact for it to materialize, I think it would be wiser to focus on moving in.

So to all my friends who have saved up some money for my wedding present tu, can you guys use it up for my housewarming presents and gifts instead? :)))

And to save you the hassle of thinking what would be the perfect gift for Yati's tiny flat, well fret not. I have done the thinking for you et voilà la liste des cadeaux souhaités:
-Simply Natural Signature Kitchen (yang pintunya bila ditutup tidak akan terus terhempas kuat tetapi akan brek perlahan-lahan dan akan tutup secara senyap).
-IKEA Aspelund bedroom set for my guest room (kalau warna putih bagus nampak bilik besar sikit)
-Some girly bedroom set for my room (I have always been fascinated by the boudoir-type deco)
-Robina laminate flooring AS11 Pearl Ash (from the Architect collection).
-A Kichler 3 Light Mini Chandelier for me to install above my kitchen counter (since dapur saya bersaiz mini maka chandelier pun mini jugalah ye)

Bolehlah ye? Boleh la....heheheh...

Itu la. Bila saya cakap nak kahwin dengan orang kaya, ramai yang kata "Apa ni Yati yang penting kasih sayang, cinta, saling tolak-ansur, faham-memahami, bertanggungjawab, sabar, bla bla bla....Zzzzz...". Itu semua penting saya memang akui.

Tapi kan, kalau cakap I Love You banyak-banyak kali, boleh tukar jadi duit tak? :))

FB status

Last night I wrote a status update on my FB wall that read: "Hai bila nak kawin laki kaya ni."

For me it's just a something off the cuff bila terpikir rasa nak tulis terus type out on my wall. Most of my friends just laughed at me and some even gave some useful tips. But what surprised me was the significant number of people who messaged me to say that it was not appropriate for me to put up such a status. "Kalau nak kawin laki kaya pun tak payah la bagitau semua orang.", kata salah seorang dari pihak membantah.

OK here are some of the status updates I've written (just the so very few that I've selected, I realize that I update nearly every other day, jap-jap lagi kena join FB Anonymous...and Big Boss if you're reading this please oh please don't ban FB at the worklace I will so suffer from severe withdrawal symptoms and might need to resort to comfort food binge-ing for solace):

-All this pillow hitting on fb can give me a brain haemorrhage.

-For a more balanced nutrition, include fruits and veggies in your diet. Have more apple pie and carrot cake.
-Selama ni aku ingat aku ni orang Perancis yang makan tempe. Rupa-rupanya aku ni sebenarnya orang Jawa yang makan cheese.
-....*no status update available at the moment...we apologize for any inconvenience caused*
-Ramai orang kata pipi saya nampak tembam. Tapi adakah ia sebenarnya efek ilusi dari pemakaian spek mata merah bersegi empat?
-Saya akan melakukan sedikit kerja pengintipan hari ini. Jangan sesiapa cuba menghalang.

So guys if you take all my status updates at face value I guess you can safely assume that I am fit for the mental institution :)))

For me the status update is most of the time just another outlet for my whimsical thoughts and fancies. Rilek la kawan hidup kena gelak-gelak sikit. Kalau nak cari drama dan gaduh-gaduh sila ke dinding lain. Tu ha ada yang laki bini bergaduh semua nak tulis kat FB pun ada. So if you want more excitement that's where you want to be. I'm just a boring old girl with sporadic wacky thoughts to share with you, whenever my brain juices are working. Tapi yang penting gua HAPPY! :))

Ikan laut dalam

During dinner last night, my niece was talking about how she wanted to live in the deep sea and be one of the deep sea fishes. We were all trying to understand why.
-It would be fun! Every day I can swim and play in the water.

I told her that it would be boring as there would be no Astro.
-Kalau dalam air tak boleh pasang TV la Aina. Takde elektrik.
-It's OK Mak Long. If I'm a deep sea fish I can do so many other things in the sea. I want to be friends with the big long shiny fish.
-Huh? Ikan apa tu?

Then her mother informed us that she wanted to be buddies with the electric eel.
-Haa Aina! Kalau Aina kawan the electric eel masalah selesai. Boleh tengok TV. Ada karan.

Then she kept quiet and looked at me.
-Huh. It's so hard talking to grown-ups. They don't have imagination.

Eh? Tengok TV di laut dalam menggunakan belut elektrik sebagai gen set tu tak cukup imaginasi ke? :))

Ice-breaking

The new semester has just started this week. And since I have classes that are of mixed groups, I thought it would be a good thing to let them introduce themselves to the others (in French, of course) and then do some ice-breaking activities together.

Then one boy stood up, told his name and said:
-J'habite a Bangi mais je viens de Serembang.
(I live in Bangi but I come from Serembang)

I asked him:
-Really? You come from Seremban?
-Yes madamng, I come from Serembang, Negeri Sembilang.
-Hmmm...you sound like you come from the east coast...

-Heheheh...actually I come from 'Ganu la madamng...how you know?

I know I'm going to have a lot of fun with this group this semester :D

Sekebun cinta yang berbungaaaa

OK this was my face when Akak Ziana started belting out "Sekebun cinta...." during the past years AJL champs segment during AJL25 last Sunday. Hatiku sungguh berdebar-debar and I was like cringing when she hit the high notes. Bukannya apa, takut tak sampai.

This picture was taken after she finished singing. See the happy and relieved look on my face? Akak Ziana managaed to pull it off! No major hiccups! THAT was actually the highlight of the show for me.

Dan semasa berposing untuk mengambil gambar bertiga ini pun, sempat lagi bertanya kepada adik jurugambar, "Adik, double chin tak nampak kan?" Heheheh. Gambar nak masuk blog ni. Kena nampak OK! And thanks kak Men for the photos :))

And hey, do you guys realize that to win this year's AJL, the contestant had to compose, write and sing her own song. And then perform live on stage, main gitar sendiri, masuk sangkar, tutup sangkar dengan kain, tukar baju, berlawan dengan hantu, dan akhirnya berjaya menumpaskan hantu-hantu tersebut untuk bersama si dia (yang juga telah terpaksa berusaha keras untuk mengeluarkan diri dari sangkar yang berasingan).

So for next year's aspiring contestant, I wish you the best of luck. On top of doing all the things mentioned above, you guys might just have to top it off with more action and drama. Maybe include a lion tamer and juggling monkeys jumping through fiery hoops.

Anyway, sekalung tahniah untuk Ana Raffali! :)

Jam

Last weekend I had a sleep-over at a friend's house. After dinner, all three of us had to go pick up a friend at Putrajaya Sentral. We drove this friend's car. She was headed to Putrajaya from LCCT. We were from Kajang.

It was late at night and we didn't know the way.

And naturally, we got lost. After driving round and round in circles and nearly running over a policewoman on a kapcai to stop and ask for directions (and decided not too) we tried one more time to get to the Putrajaya hospital and look for the fire station because my girlfriend who was driving said that the train station was somewhere there.

Then she said;
-Takpe. Rilek la. Kita banyak masa lagi. Rina cakap tren dia sampai pukul 10.20.

At that time I was looking at my handphone and the time indicated 22:25.

-Eh? Apa pulak banyak masa? Sekarang ni dah pukul 10.25 dah!
-Mana ada. Baru 9.58. Tu tengok tu.

And my friend pointed to the illuminated numbers on the dashboard of the car.

-Tu? 9.58?
-Itu channel radio!!! 95.8 la!
-OWH...aku ingatkan jam. Kat kereta aku jam letaknya kat situ.

When you have a bunch of ladies who are either nearing forty, in their early or in their mid forties, itu la jadinya. Rabun, pelupa, dan tak tau jalan. That's a lethal combination. :))