Sabar itu separuh dari iman...so what's the other half?

For my French course the students need to print out on their own their course notes, grammar notes and exercise sheets that the lecturers have uploaded to the institute's e-learning portal. So from Week 1 I've informed all my students to do so as I would not be photocopying any for them.

Last week was already week 4. And some of the students still had not done so. In one of the classes more than half of them still came to class empty handed. So Madame Yati had to deliver her free lectures #54 and #55 entitled "Korang kalau nak belajar buat cara nak belajar kalau tak jangan buang masa aku" and "Jangan buang duit RM500 untuk bayaran 2 jam kredit dengan hanya duduk menganga". Dah nama pun lecturer kan?

So after several minutes of ear bombarding I just stood in front of them and asked them what they wanted to do then since they had no notes to work with and I was so annoyed with their lackadaisical attitude.

Everybody had made the wise decision to keep quiet except for one student who sat right in front of the class who meekly came up with a suggestion. Tapi masa cakap tu pun tunduk. Suara pun perlahan aje. Sebab takut kena libas.

....."Anger management therapy?"

So how can you not like teaching this bunch of students?

Cepat? Lambat?

Every year during the fasting month I will face the same problem. What time do I need to leave the office in Bangi in order to arrive home on time for berbuka without having to go through the massive traffic jam of the grand exodus? Suddenly the whole of the Klang Valley (or so it seems like it) wants to buy their ayam percik and kuih pelita at the Taman Tun Dr Ismail Ramadhan bazaar. Leceh betul.

Last week I tried leaving at 5pm. I reached the TTDI toll at the SPRINT highway at around 5.30pm. And guess what? It took me 1.5hours to reach the traffic lights at the TTDI Pizza Hut. If it wasn't the puasa month now I would've probably continued this entry with use of expletives such as WTH or WTF to emphasize on my extreme frustration of having to endure 90 minutes of bumper-to-bumper traffic when during a normal day it would've just taken me 10 minutes or less. Terima kasih DBKL kerana telah mengepung kawasan bazaar ramadhan TTDI yang telah menyebabkan kesesakan lalulintas melampau kerana trafik dari jalan besar tidak dapat memasuki kawasan Taman Tun dan kereta-kereta dari bazaar ramadhan pula yang penuh sarat dengan sate, popiah basah, murtabak daging, kuih tako, roti john, air tebu, nasi tomato, laksa Perlis dan tidak dilupakan kambing golek seekor tidak dapat keluar dari kawasan bazaar.

So there are only two options left for me. The first one is that I go back really early, as in before 4pm, or go home late. Maybe at 6.30. And hope that the roads would be clear by that time. Whatever it is, yang penting ialah stok bekalan buah kurma yang perlu sentiasa ada di dalam kereta. Dan air kotak Ribena.

Banggali! Banggali!

A few days ago I went to one of the hypermarkets near my house for some pre-Ramadhan grocery shopping. Well the only extra item that I had to buy was the F&N Rose Syrup. According to my Mum's grocery list, it HAD to be F&N. Cap lain tak boleh.

While I was at the meat section, I saw a group of foreign workers looking at someone and talking or arguing with each other. I couldn't really tell what the topic was about as I don't speak Bangladeshi. But everytime they spoke, terkeluar perkataan "banggali". Cakap-cakap sikit ..."banggali"... cakap-cakap lagi ..."banggali"... angguk-angguk-geleng-geleng ..."banggali" ...

So I looked around and saw that they were looking at a very pretty girl in her mid 30s. Whom actually as I looked closer was a friend of mine. She had Pakistani blood. Cantik la. So I went over to say hello to her and tell her what I overheard. She was just amused and said that it was normal for people to mistake her for a an Indian girl.

Tup-tap-tup-tap I heard those men talking again. But this time looking at me. And in the conversation I heard them saying "Tinggi! Tinggi!".

My friend looked at me and said, "Padan muka kau. Ni turn kau pulak kena."

Selamat menyambut Ramadhan yang mulia

Semasa saya bersekolah asrama di Kg Kongo nun jauh di benua Afrika sana, kedatangan bulan Ramadhan amat dinantikan dengan penuh rasa gembira. Disamping dapat menunaikan solat terawikh bersama rakan-rakan yang lain dan menghadiri ceramah dan tadarus, bulan puasa juga merupakan bulan di mana kami boleh tidur lebih panjang pada waktu tengahari sebelum prep petang dan semasa main petang. Kalau siapa yang larat tu boleh lah bersukan. Tapi saya tidaklah seperti mereka. Saya lebih cenderung kepada prinsip "Conservation of Energy". Tidur, baring, atau melakukan aktiviti yang tidak memerlukan banyak pergerakan. Apa lagi hendak dibuat? Nak skodeng abang ragbi pun dah tak boleh. Kena jaga mata wo. Tak boleh pandang yang bukan-bukan masa bulan puasa ni.

Akan tetapi yang paling penting sekali semasa bulan Ramadhan adalah menu di Dewan Makan yang lebih istimewa sedikit dari hari-hari biasa. Ada sedikit kelainan. Bukan sekadar makan nasi putih dan lauk dan minum air suam sahaja. Ada kuih. Ada air minuman yang berwarna dan berperisa. Kadang-kadang ada aiskrim.

Pada suatu petang kami semua seperti biasa duduk di meja di Dewan Makan sementara menunggu azan maghrib untuk berbuka. Lauk di atas tray besi kelihatan sungguh menyelerakan. Air pula berwarna pink.

Apabila azan berkumandang kami pun tanpa pandang kiri kanan menogok air dari cawan plastik biru. Hmmm. Lain pulak rasanya air hari ini. Minggu lepas pun ada dihidangkan air pink ini. Tapi rasanya sedap. Kenapa hari ini ada rasa Dettol?

Bila saya amati betul-betul saya lihat ada satu ketulan berwarna coklat di dasar cawan. Saya kuis-kuis dengan jari. Rupa-rupanya makcik Dewan Makan telah tertinggal plaster terpakainya di dalam cawan saya. Padan lah rasa berubat.

Sejak dari hari itu saya cukup fobia dengan air pink yang bersirap dan bersusu lemak manis.

Masa tu you kurus

Yesterday we had the pleasure of receiving our new Chairman of the Board of Directors of MFI at our campus. During his visit to the institute we were treated to a video presentation of MFI and the staff.

In one of the animated slide shows, they showed pictures of the staff taken during the 2008 Aidilfitri gathering. Then my colleague who was sitting beside me elbowed me and said, "Ehh, itu gambar you Tie. Masa tu you kurus!"

If I had chosen to be in my self-denial mode, I would've loved to think that she was implying that I am now "lebih kurus" compared to that 2008 photo.

But of course I know better. After countless remarks which range from "Madame nampak bulat la muka tu." to "Ko macam dah gemuk sikit Tie ek?" I have come to realize that all this extra weight that I feel on my body did not come from the new red specs or extra rings that I am wearing on my finger. And maybe it's high time time that I do something about it.

So now I am thinking of a master plan for my new weight loss program while munching on my second kuih keria. Sedap betul kuih ni. Deep fried and dipped in sugar syrup. My safety blanket in times of need.

But how can you not like Fat/Oil/Gula and depend on them for some quiet reassurance? They even make up the words G-O-O-D F-O-O-D. Right?

Atan buat hal lagi

Last Tuesday on the way to work my car died on me. Well, not really. The engine was still running but when I pressed on the accelerator it just wouldn't move. So I slowly swerved to the side and stopped the car. I put the gear into Neutral. Waited for a while. Then changed it back to Drive. Didn't move. Then switched it to Reverse. Nothing.

A few phone calls later and I was alone waiting for help. Again. Dah dua kali Atan buat hal (panggilan manja kepada kereta ku bila ia meragam. Bila dia OK saya memanggilnya Betty). The first time was last Friday. At that time sudah keluar tanda-tanda kecil keretaku perlu ditukar. Kali ini mungkin sudah muncul tanda besar kot.

Tapi seperti biasa sempat jugalah saya ber FB memberi status update terkini dan meminta tolong sesiapa memberitahu para pelajar yang saya terpaksa membatalkan kelas. Menurut laporan yang diterima, mereka meloncat-loncat kegirangan.

A few minutes had passed when I saw a PLUS Peronda truck stop behind me. One of them came out and walked towards Atan. Whoa. Tinggi. Pakai Rayban. Pakai uniform. Muka serius. At that moment I imagined him strutting in slo mo. Alaaa gaya-gaya robot terminator jahat yang pakai unform polis dan kuat lari tu kan?

He looked at my car and asked me what happened. I was just about to explain everything when my girlfriend arrived with two mechanics. So tengok-tengok-godek-godek and initial diagnosis was that it could be a gearbox problem. So abang polis Peronda PLUS had to tow my car slowly to the nearest toll (Bangi) before it could get towed to the workshop.

Semasa berada di dalam kereta saya semasa kereta saya ditarik, macam-macam nasihat yang diberikan kepada saya (one of them drove the truck and the other drove my car). Lega saya. Muka mereka berdua nampak sangat serius akan tetapi mereka peramah juga rupanya. Mungkin tadi muka berkerut sebab cuaca di luar agak panas.

Setibanya di tol Bangi, mereka menarik kereta saya ke tepi. Sebelum cakap babai saya terfikir untuk mengambil gambar bersama dua abang polis tinggi ini. Hero-hero lebuhraya yang telah menolong saya disaat memerlukan. Saya membuka mulut dan berkata "Encik!". Kedua-dua menoleh ke arah saya. Muka mereka nampak garang semula.

"Ya?"
"Errr..terima kasih ya."
"Sama-sama."

Aku gugup!

Aku tau la

Just now during French class we did a bit of oral Q&A in class to put into practice what we have done so far.

Madame Yati to student A: Tu t'appelles comment? (What is your name?)
Student A to student B: Pssst...madame suruh aku buat apa tu?
Student B to student A: Madame suruh ko gi tandas (quiet laughter in the background; nak gelak kuat-kuat takut madame Yati marah)
Student A to student B: Ek eleh nak menipu tu agak-agak ah. Aku tau la....

And student A went to the front of the classroom to erase the white board.